inthequiet

Happy New Year

2006-12-31T13:02:00.000-06:00

Wishing you all the very best in 2007. Praying it to be a year for all my 'bloggy' friends and family FULL OF HIM....
Full of wrestling with Him and in the losing actually FEELING His GRACE.
Praying for all of us to be ABOUT HIM.
Praying for in the being about Him so full of love for Him and all others that we become 'fishers of men'.....praying for 2007 and YOU.
Praying this to be a year of PPW

PRAYING

PRAISE &

WORSHIP

Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek his will in all you do,

and he will show you which path to take.

Genesis 3-5 ; Luke 2

2007-01-02T06:37:00.000-06:00

Genesis 5: 21 When Enoch was 65 years old, he became the father of Methuselah. 22 After the birth of Methuselah, Enoch lived in close fellowship with God for another 300 years, and he had other sons and daughters. 23 Enoch lived 365 years, 24 walking in close fellowship with God. Then one day he disappeared, because God took him.

So.... though Adam and Eve were banned from the Garden, God stayed in close contact with people but not everyone availed themselves of that contact??

What about now…..is He still desiring to communicate with us??? If IF we were to stay in or gain a hunger for Him......what would happen??

Luke 1:53 He has filled the hungry with good things.

Genesis 9-11; Luke 4

2007-01-04T08:48:00.000-06:00

So last nites message at our mid week service was wrapping your life…..centering your life …orienting yourself around and on the mission of Shoal Creek……the mission being…
The mission of Shoal Creek Community Church is to turn spiritual seekers into a community of fully devoted followers of Christ. Our meetings, teaching, worship, and outreach are simply components of this over-all objective.
To orient your life around that…not the church but the mission….the great commission right?? …..alot of passion in his call to....for us to replicate…reproduce

And then this morning the first thing I read....read 3 times in 7 small sentences God telling Noah to "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.” Granted different circumstances and yet perhaps the same message…??…and in Genesis 9: 5 "Surely I will require your lifeblood; from every beast I will require it. And from every man, from every man's brother I will require the life of man…..He wants us working for Him…….at least that’s what I am going to be praying and praising and worshiping for and about today…….

Genesis 12-14; Luke 5

2007-01-05T08:44:00.000-06:00

So this morning in all my fear of my lunch meeting praising YOU for a call I got before work. A good friend…..whose daughter just got out of rehab is talking to her Mom about God, about Christ and she called me crying because she knew I would understand…I am moved beyond words by this call.....she is of the group of friends I love but share so little of my ‘new’ life with. New...in being about Him....in seeking to be about Him…Oh I did in the beginning, talk about it......preached at them that MY CHURCH was doing ‘this’ and I was doing ‘that’ for my church…..they didn’t see Christ they saw Becky with a new INTEREST and now I don’t know how to live this life…this new life…..or in moments like this of such FEAR I don’t and yet……

Luke 5 : 8- 11 When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus' knees and said, "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!" For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon's partners.
Then Jesus said to Simon, "Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men." So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.

left everything……I used to think He was telling him to leave his boat and nets and business but I wonder if it’s not more about…for me….leaving my need for approval and affirmation…….just follow Christ…..

Praising You that I want to and praising You that in spite of all my wrestling…..You do Amazing things…….but I am afraid......late in Luke

22 But Jesus, aware of their reasonings, answered and said to them, "Why are you reasoning in your hearts?
23"Which is easier, to say, 'Your sins have been forgiven you,' or to say, 'Get up and walk'?
24"But, so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins,"--He said to the paralytic--"I say to you, get up, and pick up your stretcher and go home."
25 Immediately he got up before them, and picked up what he had been lying on, and went home glorifying God.
26They were all struck with astonishment and began glorifying God; and they were filled with fear, saying, "We have seen remarkable things today."

So....how do I stop 'reasoning things in my heart' and just follow??? But THAT is what I am going to try to do today.......

I am scared and lonely...full of doubts

Like a ship in ruthless seas I am drowning.

I see You at the shoreline waving me in ~ Guiding me ~ Pulling me HOME

I want to throw away my oars to cower in the bottom of the boat and yet everything in me keeps rowing and bailing and battling to stay afloat.

Am I to simply drop them, the oars, and watch them sink or float away??

Can I put them safely in the bottom of the boat....in case???

To STOP fighting and wrestling..

To not cower in the bottom....but with my eyes on the shore...count on Your protection.....

Genesis 20-22; Luke 8

2007-01-08T08:54:00.000-06:00

Luke 8: 22-25

Jesus Stills the Sea

Now on one of those days Jesus and His disciples got into a boat, and He said to them, "Let us go over to the other side of the lake." So they launched out.
But as they were sailing along He fell asleep; and a fierce gale of wind descended on the lake, and they began to be swamped and to be in danger.
They came to Jesus and woke Him up, saying, "Master, Master, we are perishing!" And He got up and rebuked the wind and the surging waves, and they stopped, and it became calm.
And He said to them, "Where is your faith?" They were fearful and amazed, saying to one another, "Who then is this, that He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey Him?"

Genesis 23 & 24; Luke 9

2007-01-09T08:06:00.000-06:00

Luke 9: 23-27 (msg) Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat—I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? If any of you is embarrassed with me and the way I'm leading you, know that the Son of Man will be far more embarrassed with you when he arrives in all his splendor in company with the Father and the holy angels. This isn't, you realize, pie in the sky by and by. Some who have taken their stand right here are going to see it happen, see with their own eyes the kingdom of God."

Genesis 24: 21 Meanwhile, the man was gazing at her in silence, to know whether the LORD had made his journey successful or not.

Genesis 25 & 26; Psalm 6; Luke 10

2007-01-10T09:10:00.000-06:00

Had breakfast with an amazing gal...a good friend...an inspiration to me. Driving to meet with her struck AGAIN with how I hold on so desperately to what I want...This woman has a son with Down's.... now I cannot imagine her before the throne of God praying for a child with Down's and yet in her acceptance and overwhelming love for this child I see how wanting what we want keeps us from accepting what HE WANTS...This child is an amazing work of God and the way he is loved.....the unconditional love his parents are bathing him in...He is THRIVING in their love and they are grateful for him...he is a real cutie.

I hold so tightly to what I want.... with closed fists to what I want...when He asks for open hands and hearts to accept what HE WANTS FOR US....so of course not a new revelation but an ugly look at my own close fistedness...lack of surrender....lack of acceptance...how to live with open hands, an open heart....accepting His GRACE and LOVE....accepting and in the accepting being changed to HIS plan....quit holding on so tightly to what I want....'the point of the journey is to WANT what God wants MORE than anything'....the agenda for rejoicing....what God does FOR YOU....accepting His plan....loving HIM...

be the sheep........quit looking for a loophole and be the sheep.......acceptance.......

Luke 10: 17-37 The Happy Results
17 The seventy came back triumphant. "Master, even the demons danced to your tune!"
18-20 Jesus said, "I know. I saw Satan fall, a bolt of lightning out of the sky. See what I've given you? Safe passage as you walk on snakes and scorpions, and protection from every assault of the Enemy. No one can put a hand on you. All the same, the great triumph is not in your authority over evil, but in God's authority over you and presence with you. Not what you do for God but what God does for you—that's the agenda for rejoicing."
21 At that, Jesus rejoiced, exuberant in the Holy Spirit. "I thank you, Father, Master of heaven and earth, that you hid these things from the know-it-alls and showed them to these innocent newcomers. Yes, Father, it pleased you to do it this way.
22"I've been given it all by my Father! Only the Father knows who the Son is and only the Son knows who the Father is. The Son can introduce the Father to anyone he wants to."
23-24 He then turned in a private aside to his disciples. "Fortunate the eyes that see what you're seeing! There are plenty of prophets and kings who would have given their right arm to see what you are seeing but never got so much as a glimpse, to hear what you are hearing but never got so much as a whisper."
25 Just then a religion scholar stood up with a question to test Jesus. "Teacher, what do I need to do to get eternal life?"
26 He answered, "What's written in God's Law? How do you interpret it?"
27 He said, "That you love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence—and that you love your neighbor as well as you do yourself."
28"Good answer!" said Jesus. "Do it and you'll live."
29 Looking for a loophole, he asked, "And just how would you define 'neighbor'?"
30-32 Jesus answered by telling a story. "There was once a man traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho. On the way he was attacked by robbers. They took his clothes, beat him up, and went off leaving him half-dead. Luckily, a priest was on his way down the same road, but when he saw him he angled across to the other side. Then a Levite religious man showed up; he also avoided the injured man.
33-35"A Samaritan traveling the road came on him. When he saw the man's condition, his heart went out to him. He gave him first aid, disinfecting and bandaging his wounds. Then he lifted him onto his donkey, led him to an inn, and made him comfortable. In the morning he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, 'Take good care of him. If it costs any more, put it on my bill—I'll pay you on my way back.'
36"What do you think? Which of the three became a neighbor to the man attacked by robbers?"
37"The one who treated him kindly," the religion scholar responded.
Jesus said, "Go and do the same."

Praising YOU for Your Grace.....ridiculous and amazing....Praising YOU it is new every morning......

Genesis 27 & 28; Psalm 4; Luke 11

2007-01-11T09:08:00.000-06:00

It’s like all of or part of last year…wanting to want what God wants…but do I really…???

YES I want to WANT what He wants and in the wanting comes accepting what it is He wants…..not to be figured out....handy that I want Proverbs 3:5-6 to be a verse for this year as well…

Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT
Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.

So do not depend on my own understanding……Seek HIS WILL in all that I do……and HE WILL show me which path to take….I believe it and will have to make that choice in every moment, to believe it… to LIVE counterintuitively, to give up my …..surrender to You and deny the NEED, no the tyrannical WANT to understand…

Emotional as you can tell the last couple of days…weeks maybe….

NOT to be driven by them…..to rest in what I KNOW…..That the God of the universe is a God of LOVE and that it is His desire for all to know that love……I don’t understand how or seriously too much of anything else but it seems like that is what I KNOW…today.

Luke 11: 33-36"No one lights a lamp, then hides it in a drawer. It's put on a lamp stand so those entering the room have light to see where they're going. Your eye is a lamp, lighting up your whole body. If you live wide-eyed in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. Keep your eyes open, your lamp burning, so you don't get musty and murky. Keep your life as well-lighted as your best-lighted room."

Genesis 29 & 31; Luke 12

2007-01-12T07:46:00.000-06:00

Luke 12: 27 “Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 28 And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
29 “And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. 30 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. 31 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.

2007-01-13T09:38:00.000-06:00

Genesis 37 & 38; Psalm 7; Luke 15

2007-01-15T14:45:00.000-06:00

Luke 15 :20 “So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.

I can spend alot of time in my head, my heart pondering things when what I NEED to do is turn to Him......run to Him......and He runs to us??? What an amazing God....

Almighty God, the great I am
Immovable rock, omnipotent, powerful, awesome
Lord Victorious warrior, commanding King of Kings
Mighty conqueror, and the only time
the only time I ever saw Him run
CHORUS: Was when He ran to me,
He took me in His arms Held my head to His chest, said
“My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said,
“Son do you know I still love you?”
He caught me by surprise when God ran

The day I left home I knew I’d broken His heart
And I wondered then if things could ever be the same
Then one night I remembered His love for me
And down that dusty road ahead I could see I
It was the only time – it was the only time I ever saw Him run

And then He ran to me, He took me in His arms Held my head to His chest, said
“My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice
He said,“Son do you know I still love you?”
He caught me by surprise as He brought me to my knees
When God ran – I saw Him run to me
BRIDGE: I was so ashamed, all alone and so far away
But now I know He’s been waiting for this day
I saw Him run to me,
He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said
“My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice I felt His love for me again
He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said
“My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said,
“Son”, He called me Son He said, “Son do you know I still love you?”
He ran to me and then I ran to Him
When God ran
Artist Lyrics: Phillips Craig And Dean
Song Lyrics: When God Ran

Genesis 39 - 41; Luke 16

2007-01-16T09:58:00.000-06:00

Luke 16: The Rich Man and Lazarus
19"There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. 20 At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores 21 and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.
22 "The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried. 23 In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. 24 So he called to him, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.'
25 "But Abraham replied, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. 26 And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.'
27"He answered, 'Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house, 28 for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.'
29"Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.'
30" 'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'
31"He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' "

I guess it is like Solomon says ‘there is nothing new under the sun’ forever the division between those who believe and those who don’t. I know I knew of or about God my whole life but that didn’t mean I knew Him…..and now it is in THAT KNOWING that there is the greatest comfort if not comfortablility…..there is peace amidst chaos….there is love in the midst of loneliness…..but I couldn’t have known it without the journey…without the wrestling…..

I go back to Jacob I go back to Jacob in Genesis 32…before his wrestling he spoke of the God of his Father Abraham and the God of his Father Isaac….and after the wrestling HE KNEW GOD for himself….

He is the great I AM and I am blessed to be a sheep in His flock……a stubborn and selfish sheep for sure but nonetheless a sheep.

Genesis 42 & 43; Psalm 5; Luke 17

2007-01-17T08:37:00.000-06:00

A post that says it so well... please read....

A NEW post well worth the read.......

And yet another ......

Psalm 5: 11 But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.

Luke 17: 15 One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. 16 He threw himself at Jesus' feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.

One of the 10…the other nine…you wonder…afflicted the same way and in their healing, it’s just ‘oh cool’….or in showing the priest they somehow attribute their healing to them and stay and serve the priests…they didn't 'come back' and thank Him...….

I’m just thinking how I don’t remain GRATEFUL…..throwing myself at your feet and thanking You for:
A marriage of 30 years to a man who loves me more now than ever….who loves me more now because His focus is YOU….not in trying to ‘please me’…’make me happy’….but in serving You….He loves me more now…better now than ever and I hope and pray he would say the same……(well maybe catch him when I am Christ centered) but that's the amazing part....he loves me even when I'm not...because he knows I will refocus.....that I like him am a work in progress...I am knocked out GRATEFUL that YOU blessed us to do this together.....that You put us together...

Children all 3 of them and their significant others in vital journeys…wrestling with You...with truths in their own lives….in relationships on their own with Jesus Christ….all healthy and intelligent and beautiful…

That right there…..those I should be throwing myself at your feet thanking You……and I will….try to stay there….and in the trying is progress and in seeking YOU and YOUR will maybe someday I will….stay glad and sing for joy reveling in Your protection…..without You without that Gratitude .....I am......over and over at a dead end being about ME......

Genesis 44 - 46; Luke 18

2007-01-18T08:49:00.000-06:00

Don’t know how this will finish but it seems like there is something here for me to process. In working for a school district in a support position you see things….you hear and experience things. This last week there was a decision made to HAVE school when all around us appeared to be cancelling. In the first 2-4 hours of my work morning I fielded calls from about 80 irate people . They expressed their irritation by yelling at me about how disappointed they were with the decision (that was the people who were verbally in control) . As I listened to each one and judged them as stupid in my head I came to thinking about how wrong I was to consider them stupid. Working for the school district I KNOW what a collaborative terrible decision this can be. I know how early they are up and out on the roads. I know how many of them go out early and gauge the road conditions….the people complaining didn’t know that, they just knew they were disappointed or inconvenienced or …whatever.
And it struck me how I do that to God and not only to God but to my bosses or leaders or…whatever….
I only know what I know about any given situation and my reactions are about ME.
So there is I am sure more for me to think about in this and I intend to….just writing down the first glimpses I have and trusting that He will take me deeper.

So now I pray for a soft and open and teachable heart as I read Your word…..

Genesis 44: 7 But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.

The faith Joseph had, the experiences and in those experiences the choices Joseph made to not sin in anger…to not hold grudges…to believe that God had a plan for him. His faith saved his family….?....Is it presumptious of me to believe the same for me, for you?? That God is NOT moving us as in a chess game but is in CHARGE of the outcomes??? I don’t know but this morning in light of everything else it feels that way..
Now the bad news is this ends up with the bondage in Egypt…….and not until Moses ending so……..

The Little Children and Jesus
15 People were also bringing babies to Jesus to have him touch them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. 16 But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 17 I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

Luke 18: 27 Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."
28 Peter said to him, "We have left all we had to follow you!"
29 "I tell you the truth," Jesus said to them, "no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God 30 will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life."

Like a child accepting……asking a lot of questions but in the end accepting what her parents …..her boss……it’s not tied together yet but I have a lot to think about…and the Holy Spirit to help …a Good Shepherd to guide me while I do.

Genesis 47 & 48; Psalm 10; Luke 19

2007-01-19T08:41:00.000-06:00

My brain feels like a bowl of spaghetti.....the sticky kind, where you can't pull one noodle out without it attaching itself to another....not bad just not neat....nothing 'feels' neat.....

"The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you become informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray. You realize that nothing is as clear and simple as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing." -Bill Waterson, "Calvin and Hobbes

Genesis 47: 25 "You have saved our lives," they said. "May we find favor in the eyes of our lord; we will be in bondage to Pharaoh."

The choice they made…….the choices we make now……thinking we know…..?? to buy things we cannot afford, using money we don’t have, counting on the here and now when the future stretches out before us …..the bondage is the same…the choice is still ours…..and the parable of the ‘minas’ reading it differently this morning….again the choices each one made….makes…knowing the truth???

Luke 19: 41 As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it 42 and said, "If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes.

Still weeping at the choices we make???

Truth will set us free, but first it will make us sick--to the point that the Great Physician's restorative touch is the only cure.
The truth sets us free by helping us to become people of courage who never pretend.

If I am hiding in the dark from God, not being open before him about the things that are going on, you can be sure I'll try to keep you in the dark as well. I might attend the meetings, participate in the discussions, and go through the other motions, but nothing of importance will happen. That is because I will try to keep a similar distance between you and me to what I maintain between myself and God.The way to peace begins with accepting the truth of myself--the whole truth. Any bit of me that I refuse to accept becomes the enemy...
To accept the truth of my own brokenness is unbearable, if not impossible, without turning to Christ. If my vision of myself is not purified by the mercy and compassion of Jesus, I have to get dishonest, camouflage my warts and present to you a self that is mostly admirable, fault free and superficially happy... The peace that comes through accepting the whole truth about myself is rooted in Christ" who has reconciled all things in himself. making peace through the blood of the cross." Brennan Manning, in Reflections for Ragamuffins

Exodus 3-5; Luke 22

2007-01-22T08:57:00.000-06:00

I only know what I know about any given situation and my reactions are about ME.

What if I reacted in knowing that YOU know everything…..what if I reacted in the knowing that I AM protected…..I wonder IF I would react differently??

So Moses has witnessed the burning bush and spoke to the Great I AM…he has seen and felt his staff turn to a snake and back…he has experienced his own hand turning leprous and being healed and he still says….Exodus 4:13 "O Lord, please send someone else to do it."..I’m not criticizing Moses just marveling at the God of the universe and what a stubborn people he has to work with then and now.

Luke 22: 46 "Why are you sleeping?" he asked them. "Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation."
Pray so that you will not fall into temptation. What if I prayed instead of thinking so much…..

Exodus 6-8; Luke 23

2007-01-23T08:43:00.000-06:00

So God hardened Pharoahs heart and Pharoah hardened his own heart. YOU do what YOU do for YOUR intents, Your purposes, YOUR GLORY. Not mine to wonder how or the whys of it but to in my own journey watch the condition of my own heart…??

...in the thinking do I but check the condition or do I in thinking too much harden my own heart to what You are saying??.....

I sometimes don’t want to ‘hear’ what you are saying…..

I don’t want to make myself vulnerable to this or that person or situation and CHOOSE to self protect…….

I say I WANT to live vulnerably but as soon as that vulnerability looks to place me in a position to BE HURT I self protect….I justify or manipulate to get the results I want rather than trusting YOU…..so….I sin…..that’s the word isn’t it??

And then in Luke…..the ultimate in honest humble replies… 3 So Pilate asked Jesus, "Are you the king of the Jews?" "Yes, it is as you say," Jesus replied….

the ultimate in loving us where we are at…...34 Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."[e] And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. …….

now the thing is I don’t want to stay where I am at…..I think I know what it is I am doing……I need YOUR help Father to stop doing it or to do it….as You lead……

Exodus 9-11; Luke 24

2007-01-24T08:52:00.000-06:00

(photo from googleimages.com)

I pray to in Your protection live vulnerably, humbly and honest…….

Exodus 9: 34 When Pharaoh saw that the rain and hail and thunder had stopped, he sinned again: He and his officials hardened their hearts.

Exodus 10: 3 So Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh and said to him, "This is what the LORD, the God of the Hebrews, says: 'How long will you refuse to humble yourself before me? Let my people go, so that they may worship me.

Luke 24: 30 When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. 31 Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight. 32 They asked each other, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?"

Luke 24: 45 Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures.

Exodus 12 & 13; Psalm 21; Acts 1

2007-01-25T09:02:00.000-06:00

Ahhh flu season, throw up or vomit or puke whatever your term of ‘endearment’ for it is…..my daughter is home with both of hers fully in it and she is feeling somewhat nauseous herself. I’m going to take some 7-up to her at lunch and put it in the garage and RUN!! The being vulnerable surely doesn’t apply to exposing myself to yakkin??? But sick as dogs aren’t they adorable!!

I pray to be soft and vulnerable open to Your spirits leading as I read….

In Exodus they literally (?) have the clouds and fire to follow now…..making me think of the book we are doing in Small Group Walk Across the Room by Bill Hybels, it looks to be very interesting and in the introduction and in all I have read about the book it is about our responding to the nudges of the Holy Spirit….

I want them you know, those nudgings and I want to learn to be responsive to them.

How about you, what experiences do you have or have you seen other people have??

I hear people who feel they have been abused by people proclaiming to BE spirit led or that the Lord told them or that the Spirit said….I find it more, like a nudge to DO or say something that involves that vulnerability piece that trusting Him alone piece....

I admit to being pretty new to the whole of it and strangely excited that I may be able to experience this more…..

Are you ready and eager for them or doubtful about the reality of it ?? Just curious.

Acts 1: 7 He said to them: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. 8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."

Exodus 14 - 16; Acts 2

2007-01-26T08:47:00.000-06:00

IF we all loved Jesus and in that love and acceptance of HIS forgiveness and love wouldn’t THIS be happening?? Acts 2: 38 Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call."
40 With many other words he warned them; and he pleaded with them, "Save yourselves from this corrupt generation." 41 Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day.
42 They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Whether Emergent or Evangelical or Fundamentalist or whatever.... aren't we all who love Christ....Christians?? ….

I know it doesn’t work for me because I am more like the Israelites….they’ve witnessed miracle after miracle to get them their freedom and in Exodus 14: 11 They said to Moses, "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? 12 Didn't we say to you in Egypt, 'Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians'? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!"
13 Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

And then....they’ve just walked on the bottom of the sea with a wall of water to both sides and they.... Acts 15: 3 The Israelites said to them, "If only we had died by the LORD's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death."

And of course He feeds them…..so I’m not saying I’m any better and I guess no different... it’s just that ....I wonder what if….I were the sheep instead of stubborn like a mule???

Way smarter

Well told check em out....don't be stubborn now...

Exodus 28 & 29; Acts 7

2007-01-31T08:49:00.000-06:00

Casting Crowns
Lifesong

Empty hands held high
Such small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonite

May the words I SAY
And the things I DO
Make my lifesong sing

Let my lifesong sing to YOU
Let my lifesong sing to YOU
I want to sign Your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to YOU

Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice
TO REACH A WORLD IN NEED
TO BE YOUR HANDS AND FEET

So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to YOU

This is the ringtone on my phone and I don’t know that I had ever pondered the lyrics…..but I am now…

In Exodus today more DETAILS….
And then in Acts, Stephen tells the whole of it, filled with the Holy Spirit he tells them the story of the beginning to Christ…to where he stands before them…..Acts 7: 51"You stiff-necked people, with uncircumcised hearts and ears! You are just like your fathers: You always resist the Holy Spirit!

I don’t want to any longer….resist…..I don’t know what it looks like to hear but I pray a soft humble heart to listen…… photo from googleimages

Exodus 30-32; Acts 8

2007-02-01T08:19:00.000-06:00

THIS is where I will be today.... picture from googleimages.com

I ask your prayers like Simon did in Acts 8.......

2007-02-02T08:44:00.000-06:00

Keeping my head again today in YOUR hands….in the effort it takes I am remembering an experience I had several years ago witnessing a Horse Whisperer…really a real live Horse Whisperer…..here is my attempt to write about it.

I wanted to write about our experience this weekend (September 2004), watching the Horse Whisperer....It was INCREDIBLE....

He took a 4 year old that at the time he thought was 3 (which I guess with horses this made a significant difference), a 4 year old beautiful little Chestnut filly and in the course of 5 hours broke her to a saddle.....

He began in the pen with this pretty little horse warily eyeing him. She had been minimally handled, having been wormed and branded, so very little human contact and what was, was negative..... She and Bob Toomer hence forth re: as HW were in this ramshackle flimsy pen. Seriously nothing but a bunch of metal gates wired together for this purpose and surrounded by bleachers. So on top of HW in the center she had the distraction of maybe 3-4 hundred people watching.........
He began by equating her horse life before this time in the pen to ours...time spent in our own pursuits, satisfying ourselves thinking that was ALL we had to satisfy or worry about..how we protect ourselves. As he’s speaking, he begins running the horse in a circle, just a light canter around the pen ....our life in circles with God at the center whether we know it or not.

She runs and he starts telling us what he is looking for, looking for her to begin to 'humble' herself...she would stop and drop her head and walk and occasionally lick her lips, ultimate submission for a horse....so he approached her...very small steps and slow......if she moved she would have to run again until she assumed the humility pose......

He waited and approached her, not right up to her, maybe 3-5 feet....she knew he was closer, she experienced him closer.
And then it became about her turning towards, choosing him.....and if she wouldn't, she would be made to run again...not hard, just useless running......kind of like us...without God our lives just useless running.....He did this for about 90 minutes to 2 hours and finally she turned to him and was rewarded with stroking and calming words.......You could tell she loved it, craved it......

HW got fatigued and needed a helper.
In comes King a cow horse and very good at what he does but what HW needed was a horse to respond EXACTLY as he asked...he had gotten to the point with the horse that this 3 ft. was very important to maintain and he also wanted/needed to increase the closeness SLOWLY at her choosing, so as to introduce the halter....

Well King being a big eager horse could only approach with big fast jerky movements...HW couldn't use King and had to get another horse...
THIS is where the visual became quite personal .....how I saw myself as King...fully saddled and broke and eager to be of help...but moving bigger and faster or sooner and closer than God wants me to........eager but maybe not as obedient or as good a listener as I am supposed to be..
Leviticus...Levi for short, another cattle horse but seeming to respond more in line with what HW wanted.......closer and closer, each time having the horse, having her choose to allow it, to turn towards him......it was as I said INCREDIBLE. Because when that horse which had never been lovingly touched, CHOSE to put her head inside the halter....well it was amazing....She chose to allow it and the HW never forced her just presented opportunities for her to choose to KNOW her purpose as a saddle horse.....
I hope this makes sense because it deeply impacted me and I wanted to share some of the experience with you.....I loved the imagery...choosing to find our purpose....choosing to allow God into our lives, allowing Him to show us our purpose....it was a really cool day and then the next day....

We went horseback riding... King and Levi were among our mounts...I was riding a barrel horse named Tuff who liked being in the lead and not being a goo....an accompl.....OK I DON't KNOW HOW TO RIDE A HORSE.......well my beloved children figured that out and spent the afternoon enticing Tuff to take me on little runs...me giggling and bouncing in the saddle, must have been enormously entertaining because they took turns being behind me or in front of me so they could watch and listen to me...I may have said some inappropriate words about almost falling off...BUT I didn't , fall off that is, well I did Fall Down and hurt my knee TWICE but....I never fell off of old TUFF!!

Anyways thanks for listening and being in my life and loving me even when I get a little too close or rough or pushy.....I love you all b

Sheep Horse….purpose protection....I am perhaps mixing word pictures…well I’m gonna stay here for awhile with my head in His hands or maybe my head in a halter…..

2007-02-05T09:50:00.000-06:00

So today I’m simply thinking and not obsessing….big improvement for me. I think I will always lean towards obsession but being changed.....learning that with my head in His hands, fully surrendered to His care I just will think differently....it's the staying surrendered and in His hands that will be tough.
Seeing myself as not only a lamb but just another dirty little lamb.....and yet His love for all of us is tangible, when I choose to live in surrender to His will ...ahhh can't write it down so why try......

I’m thinking on having heard Donald Miller speak Friday nite and tearing up as I listened... because he says what I had been thinking. Thanking God for that piece / peace….. What I think is not weird….but asking myself when do you stop thinking and in full belief and trust and surrender and do what this guy says…….or at least wrestle with it....you know always WRESTLING and I think that may be a good thing because I lose alot......and in the losing and accompanying brokenness that follows there is much GRACE.

Leviticus 1 - 3; Acts 13

2007-02-06T08:39:00.000-06:00

A soft weepy heart this morning and that doesn’t seem to feel to bad yet….weepy and soft, I wonder why and I also wonder how long it will last…..just wondering.

Acts 13: 52 And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit.

Persecuted and driven from the region…Paul and Barnabus are filled with Joy and the Holy Spirit….That's just weird huh??
And the being soft and weepy and joyful in that weepiness weird too. and I am glad to have that weirdness today......