Wednesday, December 21, 2005

John 9-11

Christmas...Christianity Explored.....the Bible.....Jesus.....all of these thoughts are running into.....this recent discovery of my own 'lack of omniscience'....realizing I need to try more to understand than worry about being understood.....being told to practice 'an economy of words'....'you don't have to defend the truth'.....'Faith is not me believing that God will do what I want. Faith is believing God will do what is right.'

That old bugaboo of passion/ urgency is rising.....and I want to believe it is of YOU, because of all of the above, because of the season.....and yet there is a part of me that knows my 'dance', my pattern of thinking and believing and acting.....and yet....maybe the passion is what it is supposed to be and YOU are just guiding me to learn how to live it.........? John 9:1... 1As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
3"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. 4 As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. 5 While I am in the world, I am the light of the world."

I am not a puppet.....free will had to be overcome or recognized and had to be exercised for me to know that God is God and I'm not. For me to see that I was a slave to things other than knowing Christ, other than accepting Christ. I was and am or can be....a slave to 'what people think'....to making myself 'look good'....to 'fitting in'.....to manipulating people into doing what 'I think' is best or right.....to wanting what I want all the time.....to making myself 'feel good' in any given circumstance.....to judging people....to a world of other things but these come first and foremost to mind. I have to learn and everything happens to show me 'so that the work of God might be displayed in my life'........???? Wow, that feels good to write down. To want something so badly and everything brings me closer and closer to knowing that what I want will never be fully known to me here, but will ...but will.....I don't know and at this moment that 'feels' ok.

Alot more about Sheep and Shepherds....It has taken me a long time to believe, rest in the fact that I am dumb as a sheep and yet my shepherd takes care of me ...See I used to think I was more of a 'sheep dog' and that it was up to me to nip and bite at people's heels, what I thought was, I was guiding them to the Shepherd....
I'm a sheep...nothing more and nothing less and I know my shepherds voice and all I am is to follow Him......

2 comments:

So I Go said...

beautiful words my friend. you often write what i'm feeling inside.

peace, and have a wonderful Christmas!!

curious servant said...

Good attitude.

Merry Christmas!

Thank you for all you have done for me this year!