Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Ezra 5 & 6; Psalm 138; Luke 16

So this morning my heart is heavy…..Crown Study......(it's cool....it's eye opening.....it's hard) .....with doubts and concerns and finding out just how dishonest and self-protective I am . Now the pattern is for me in discovery….
denial …….
followed quickly by ‘oh CRAP’
followed by ‘who else knows this about me?’…..
which then begins a series of ‘I gotta cover my tracks’ or the most popular for me... ‘running away’
and then perhaps a touch more of …. ‘CRAP’…….
and then….well then I run smack dab into GRACE and in that GRACE I look deeply at it and share what’s been revealed to me……..journaling or blogging or just yappin away…….

I wonder if GRACE would be…could be……something I run to first….or IF I have to look at it deeply first.??? Am I supposed to find the GRACE before I look at it??? am I fooling myself?? There is only GRACE in seeing my sin…….my nature….myself….

This pattern of a lifetime of dishonesty….of self-protecting PRIDE ~ avoiding consequences……and dishonesty has hindered so much of my life in relationships here and my relationship with God…..my even needing CHRIST was buried in 'I can do it myself'…over and over again….I can’t do it…any of it any more without Him…..

Psalm 138: 1-3 Thank you! Everything in me says
"Thank you!"
Angels listen as I sing my thanks. I kneel in worship facing your holy temple and say it again: "Thank you!" Thank you for your love, thank you for your faithfulness; Most holy is your name, most holy is your Word.

The moment I called out, you stepped in; you made my life large with strength. 4-6 When they hear what you have to say, God, all earth's kings will say "Thank you."They'll sing of what you've done: "How great the glory of God!" And here's why: God, high above, sees far below; no matter the distance, he knows everything about us. 7-8 When I walk into the thick of trouble, keep me alive in the angry turmoil. With one hand strike my foes, With your other hand save me. Finish what you started in me, God.Your love is eternal—don't quit on me now.

And then….well then the whole of Luke 16 this morning…..but especially…..

Luke 16: 14-18 When the Pharisees, a money-obsessed bunch, heard him say these things, they rolled their eyes, dismissing him as hopelessly out of touch. So Jesus spoke to them: "You are masters at making yourselves look good in front of others, but God knows what's behind the appearance.

So……running headlong into YOUR GRACE this morning…..and hoping in splashing around...... or perhaps just humbly standing there…… because you know IF WE DON'T LEARN HOW....if we don't seek HIM above all....how can we reach....love....others all others......
He's calling us to live in HIS GRACE so we can.........

2 comments:

Jada's Gigi said...

I think we must realize and face our own wickedness before Grace can reign in our hearts..I often pray that He not let me forget from whence I came..I can never afford to forget that but for His Grace...I am the chiefest of sinners...Yes, let me be drenched in His Grace...and somehow be able to extend it to this heartbreaking world.

see-through faith said...

grace amazes me - again and again and again. Thanks for stopping by at my blog ...