Monday, October 30, 2006

Job 21; Mark 5 & 6

I thought I was going to have to be hauled off by the Waaambulance when I awoke this morning……
Wahhhh….we didn’t have a weekend
Wahhhh….my lower back hurts
Wahhhh….my legs ache
Wahhhh….I have a headache
Wahhhh….THEY changed Dan’s job
Wahhhh….We are not going to have the kids for Thanksgiving

I’m telling you I went on and on…..tears developing in the feeling sorry for myself….justifying…..no I never justified but then I got to Job 21
7 Why do the wicked live on, growing old and increasing in power?
8 They see their children established around them, their offspring before their eyes.
9 Their homes are safe and free from fear; the rod of God is not upon them.
10 Their bulls never fail to breed; their cows calve and do not miscarry.

And it was so bad by then it was like…’Yeah…(maybe you know the ‘yeah’ I mean the self righteous counting others as wicked) …..and then it hit me…..what I was doing….just feeling sorry for myself when the God of the universe watched me for my whole life being about me, never considering that He desired me to WANT Him….never considering that He loved me enough to…..never considering that He loves all of us and remembering there is nothing we can do to make Him love us more and nothing we can do to make Him love us less……..that He just loves us……and I know this love because I pursue Him…not that He is running away from me but that I ‘try’ to think on and seek His will in the midst of this raging desire to have mine……and I became grateful……and now even sitting here I am ashamed at how quickly I judged...or qualified or....just plain old felt sorry for myself .... and yet He loves me and extends His grace to me without measure……
Mark 5: 32 But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. 33 Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. 34 He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."
Mark 6 the miracle of the loaves and the fishes
Jesus walking on the water……Mark 6: 50-52 ….Immediately he spoke to them and said, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." 51 Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed, 52 for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened.

So I didn’t end up needing the WAmbulance ‘this time’…but it always seems like I have it on speed dial rather than You…….I want to be changed you know……so just more looking at it I guess and submitting to YOUR process…???

Oh by the way….we had over 1500 people and it WAS a BLAST……we had music and trunks with endless candy for the kids….we had Hot Dogs and Nachos and Cotton Candy and Popcorn and costumed characters and …..it was just a BLAST…now why didn’t I think of THAT first this morning??...... I had a gal with me who is seeking YOU so madly....in her fear of being hurt yet again wanting to TRUST You.....what a blessing watching her journey is.....what a blessing the night was.....it was just an amazing nite......and I am grateful......

4 comments:

Bruce said...

Thanks for the post. I, too, have the WAmbulance on speed dial. Get out the defibulator, I need my cold dead heart jump started once again.

B~

MaryAnn M said...

funny...i could have used this term recently when telling a friend to stop whining about a situation and look at the bright side of things.

funny....we all seem to have it on speed dial and the only number we really need is HIS.

Sarah said...

Thank you for a great reminder of the priority and where it sould be.

So I Go said...

"the He just loves us"..
beautiful truth..

great post my friend.