Friday, January 05, 2007

Genesis 12-14; Luke 5

So this morning in all my fear of my lunch meeting praising YOU for a call I got before work. A good friend…..whose daughter just got out of rehab is talking to her Mom about God, about Christ and she called me crying because she knew I would understand…I am moved beyond words by this call.....she is of the group of friends I love but share so little of my ‘new’ life with. being about seeking to be about Him…Oh I did in the beginning, talk about it......preached at them that MY CHURCH was doing ‘this’ and I was doing ‘that’ for my church…..they didn’t see Christ they saw Becky with a new INTEREST and now I don’t know how to live this life…this new life…..or in moments like this of such FEAR I don’t and yet……

Luke 5 : 8- 11 When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus' knees and said, "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!" For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon's partners.
Then Jesus said to Simon, "Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men." So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.

left everything……I used to think He was telling him to leave his boat and nets and business but I wonder if it’s not more about…for me….leaving my need for approval and affirmation…….just follow Christ…..

Praising You that I want to and praising You that in spite of all my wrestling…..You do Amazing things…….but I am afraid......late in Luke

22 But Jesus, aware of their reasonings, answered and said to them, "Why are you reasoning in your hearts?
23"Which is easier, to say, 'Your sins have been forgiven you,' or to say, 'Get up and walk'?
24"But, so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins,"--He said to the
paralytic--"I say to you, get up, and pick up your stretcher and go home."
25 Immediately he got up before them, and picked up what he had been lying on, and went home
glorifying God.
26They were all struck with astonishment and began
glorifying God; and they were filled with fear, saying, "We have seen remarkable things today." do I stop 'reasoning things in my heart' and just follow??? But THAT is what I am going to try to do today.......

I am scared and lonely...full of doubts

Like a ship in ruthless seas I am drowning.

I see You at the shoreline waving me in ~ Guiding me ~ Pulling me HOME

I want to throw away my oars to cower in the bottom of the boat and yet everything in me keeps rowing and bailing and battling to stay afloat.

Am I to simply drop them, the oars, and watch them sink or float away??

Can I put them safely in the bottom of the case???

To STOP fighting and wrestling..

To not cower in the bottom....but with my eyes on the shore...count on Your protection.....


Jada's Gigi said...

Several things stand out to me about your post today...first, I hear clearly in my spirit...relax...the tide will bring you to shore...
second, I'm thinking that the fish the disciples caught are not the was more important to follow Him...we always get so caught up in the idea of God blessing what we do...when all He really wants is for us to follow....
thirdly...I often wonder why so many of those that He touched, healed, set free etc....didn't follow...but went home praising God...yes, praising God...but wouldn't you think they would never want to leave His side again???

holy chaos said...

" So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him."

one of my fav verses! the idea of walking with Jesus just like the disciples excites me! imagine what it must have been like....