Thursday, July 19, 2007

Driving into work with so many thoughts going through my mind and in the distance I can see the storms coming. Do I see them in my own life? Some maybe and some are surprises but what causes the storms of my life, the ones I deal with? I’m not talking the catastrophic storms of life we have no power over…death and cancer….to name just 2 . But like an animal sensitive to coming weather ie: storms do I have that tendency to flee, to take cover….?.... But sometimes I am just brave enough to want to watch it…I love being on the back of the bike with Dan and having him read them (the fronts) and the excitement of trying to outrun them or shoot the gap……but mostly it’s in the coming, in the distant coming that I sense the turbulence and want to hide….? I’m thinking this out loud here nothing figured out….but I always mostly have the urge to flee without even knowing for sure what’s coming..gotta always protect my own hide you know….Don’t know what this has to do with anything just where my mind is at and wanting more and more to find the ways that I cope.

Psalm 46: 10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

Yeah, I’m on of ‘those’ people….I have this verse with an Icthus tattooed on my ankle. It’s been huge to me to remember….it’s a reminder….it’s a verse that having thought of myself as god humbles me…..that life revolved(s) around me and my desires. I am staggered that I can still fall into that thinking…’s deep you know. That thinking that LIFE is about me. So when I read about the people in that day where it talks about 2 Kings 17: 41 Even while these people were worshiping the LORD, they were serving their idols. To this day their children and grandchildren continue to do as their fathers did……it’s not far from me today.
The wanting to want what God wants is not natural it is supernatural or maybe it’s like Lewis says ‘we are far to easily satisfied’…I don’t know I just know that …..He is God and I’m not…..

And then James 3….Hi my name is Becky and I am a gossip. I swear there should be recovery groups for us….and you know what not only a gossip but I talk a lot…..dang another gap to close….geez no flippin wonder I want to run. ;)

James 3
Taming the Tongue
1 Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
7All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt[
a] water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
Two Kinds of Wisdom
13Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
17But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness


holy chaos said...


the other day a lady and i were talking at work and it hit me

a still small voice

"you're gossiping"

aw man!


before i realized what i was doing

Smitty said...

I'll run with you.