The dream…..to create or man or build a place for ‘hurting’ women or families or people…a home of hope....see it’s so big as to be formless and yet the call to learn HOW to love people without condition or a desire to ‘fix’….and yet wanting them to KNOW Christ and the healing that the journey brings….people who have suffered abuse childhood, sexual, physical, emotional….the abuse that shaped(s) them….I have no first hand experience so what the hell do I know huh? And yet the dream seems to be real…..the desire, the call to love FEELS urgent…I don’t know, I just can’t shake it…..and my husband, well he buys it and wonder if it maybe IS what God is leading us to….
A place where there is nothing but His love, manned by people driven by His love and ….stupid huh or more stupid that it doesn’t have more ‘legs’ or that I would dream of that which so many are already doing...…but maybe that is the way dreams start, especially dreaming with God??? A place where all of those passionate about the Jesus who frees, want THAT freedom for everyone. A freedom in recognizing our own brokenness…..not a preaching of it just a deep down confidence in Him….sounds stupid or maybe just OK that that is what I dream??? A home of HOPE…..connecting them to resources and loving them to a healing....that doesn't make sense and yet that is the dream....
I have said it out loud with all the above caveats…but to write them I think there is much more for me to flesh out……for me to pursue and pursuing the hard is not ‘my thing’…and …see there I go again with the buts and the ands…..so there’s the dream and I am going to keep on dreaming it and seeing what it looks like to pursue the hard to answer His call….oh crap is it a call or is it a dream…..???
I think it may be too big of a dream and maybe it is just to volunteer so I am going to be trained as a hotline volunteer through a facility…..that seems as though it IS something I can DO right now….along with the dreaming. And then I read.....
John 8: 36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
John 8: 1But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
11"No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
There is no ‘fixing’….there is truth in love…..I want to find, to discover a life lived there…..we are all so broken….
A place where there is nothing but His love, manned by people driven by His love and ….stupid huh or more stupid that it doesn’t have more ‘legs’ or that I would dream of that which so many are already doing...…but maybe that is the way dreams start, especially dreaming with God??? A place where all of those passionate about the Jesus who frees, want THAT freedom for everyone. A freedom in recognizing our own brokenness…..not a preaching of it just a deep down confidence in Him….sounds stupid or maybe just OK that that is what I dream??? A home of HOPE…..connecting them to resources and loving them to a healing....that doesn't make sense and yet that is the dream....
I have said it out loud with all the above caveats…but to write them I think there is much more for me to flesh out……for me to pursue and pursuing the hard is not ‘my thing’…and …see there I go again with the buts and the ands…..so there’s the dream and I am going to keep on dreaming it and seeing what it looks like to pursue the hard to answer His call….oh crap is it a call or is it a dream…..???
I think it may be too big of a dream and maybe it is just to volunteer so I am going to be trained as a hotline volunteer through a facility…..that seems as though it IS something I can DO right now….along with the dreaming. And then I read.....
John 8: 36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
John 8: 1But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
11"No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
There is no ‘fixing’….there is truth in love…..I want to find, to discover a life lived there…..we are all so broken….
3 comments:
Becky,
I have been reading your blog but not commenting because my blog time has been cut by about 75% since I started this new job! But I do read and I am EXCIETED that God has given you this dream/call. I understand how hard it would be to differentiate between the two, it can be both ya know? And so what if there are ten million of these homes that already exist – the one you will have will still meet needs, can there ever be too many of something positive? A place to be LOVED. The fact that you have this desire to do this sure seems like it’s a GOD THING to me. How awesome that you are starting to be trained as a volunteer. One step closer to making the dream a reality. That’s the thing, there are no strict time barriers, just keep moving forward one step at a time, you will eventually arrive OR the path will dead end (I hope not). I love you!
When there is something that God has placed in my heart (and let me just say I think a revival is getting ready to break out because you are one of many that are fighting with a dream to help the broken) I think it should happen instantly or it is just a dream, why in the world would God use me, I don't want Him to use me in this way, it will cost to much, require to much, it would be about me...however, I think Satan likes to creep in during the waiting period and say, it was just an imagination of yours God would never call you to that.
I can't imagine a better person that He could call...I believe in the dream, and I don't know how God is going to work in it, but just expect the unexpected, and with no time constraints. Don't give up, fight for the broken, run the race God has for you...love the least of these...
Becky,
Sounds like a great dream/call to me. Just from reading your blog, I think you would be great at that. It seems that you have a heart to love on people just as Christ did...not trying to fix them..but just geniunely love them. That's what He wants us to do. I agree with Barbara that the training is a great step. One step at a time...always forward progress...
Sorry I haven't posted in a while...went on vacation and haven't really felt like commenting a lot. Now, I'm back and am looking forward to reading all about your journey.
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