Feeling exceptionally broken yesterday and definitely refusing to go where You desire. Then hearing the story of my most precious Granddaughter, well this morning the picture I got was I was throwing a fit …I see You in everything and yet don’t operate in that seeing….I still act childishly instead of childlike and in the aftermath, the covering of myself with self contempt I can lose whatever it is You are leading me to, or seem to.
Galatians 3: 1 You crazy Galatians! Did someone put a hex on you? Have you taken leave of your senses? Something crazy has happened, for it's obvious that you no longer have the crucified Jesus in clear focus in your lives. His sacrifice on the cross was certainly set before you clearly enough.
2-4 Let me put this question to you: How did your new life begin? Was it by working your heads off to please God? Or was it by responding to God's Message to you? Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. If you weren't smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it? Did you go through this whole painful learning process for nothing? It is not yet a total loss, but it certainly will be if you keep this up!
So anyway re: Miss Emma, her all of 5 and getting ready for kindergarten. Part of that getting ready is SHOTS. She kept telling her Mom she was going to be brave and walked right into the office without appearing to have a fear in the world. BUT when the needle came out and into her little arm, she lost it and was strong enough to make the nurse withdraw the needle 3 times, making for herself 7 shots, instead of 4. All were surprised at her reaction and said they would not have predicted that from her.
I have heard for sometime in regards to the S personality that we are ‘outwardly compliant and inwardly defiant’ ‘heard’ it to distraction and yet I see how it is true, heartbreakingly true.
I am basically scared of everything and will with a certain amount of obedience (rule keeping) go into most everything and then……I can ‘fit’ with the best of them……becoming childish instead of childlike and trusting. I don’t know, I think I am still processing a lot of it BUT bottom line I do want to be that child of faith following where YOU lead.
5-6 Answer this question: Does the God who lavishly provides you with his own presence, his Holy Spirit, working things in your lives you could never do for yourselves, does he do these things because of your strenuous moral striving or because you trust him to do them in you? Don't these things happen among you just as they happened with Abraham? He believed God, and that act of belief was turned into a life that was right with God.
7-8 Is it not obvious to you that persons who put their trust in Christ (not persons who put their trust in the law!) are like Abraham: children of faith? It was all laid out beforehand in Scripture that God would set things right with non-Jews by faith. Scripture anticipated this in the promise to Abraham: "All nations will be blessed in you."
9-10 So those now who live by faith are blessed along with Abraham, who lived by faith—this is no new doctrine! And that means that anyone who tries to live by his own effort, independent of God, is doomed to failure. Scripture backs this up: "Utterly cursed is every person who fails to carry out every detail written in the Book of the law."
11-12 The obvious impossibility of carrying out such a moral program should make it plain that no one can sustain a relationship with God that way. The person who lives in right relationship with God does it by embracing what God arranges for him. Doing things for God is the opposite of entering into what God does for you. Habakkuk had it right: "The person who believes God, is set right by God—and that's the real life." Rule-keeping does not naturally evolve into living by faith, but only perpetuates itself in more and more rule-keeping, a fact observed in Scripture: "The one who does these things [rule-keeping] continues to live by them."