Hosea 10-12; Psalm 73; Hebrews 4

Another terrorist attack, this time in London....I don't have anything deep to say about it , just like in my journaling of 9/11......random and violent and ......I don't know.....
I don't know that I KNOW how to really and completely be other focused???

I sit here at my job and claim...try to be God focused...but is it simply yet another opportunity to ruminate on and about ME??
I don't know .....and in my confusion this morning.....that's how I am coming to YOU this morning...ashamed and confused and saddened....'so repentant'??....I think so.....the lyrics from that song Sunday I Repent:
i repent, i repent of my pursuit of america's dreami repent,
i repent of living like i deserve anything
of my house, my fence, my kids, my wife
in our suburb where we're safe and white
i am wrong and of these things i repent
i repent, i repent of parading my liberty i repent.
i repent of paying for what i get for free and for the way i believe
that i am living right by trading sins for others that are easier to hide
i am wrong and of these things i repent
i repent judging by a law that even i can't keep
of wearing righteousness like a disguise to see through the planks in my own eyes i repent,
i repent of trading truth for false unity i repent,
i repent of confusing peace and idolatry
by caring more of what they think than what i know of what we need
by domesticating you until you look just like me
i am wrong and of these things i repent

I know...I KNOW this world needs YOU...needs Christ....THAT'S how I am supposed to live my life, in that KNOWING THAT FORGIVENESS AND THAT LOVE....
stop making everything about me and make it ....LIVE IT ABOUT YOU.....
i am wrong and of these I REPENT.....
so now here I sit wanting to be about YOU...wanting to be open to where YOU lead...where and what YOU DESIRE .........

Hosea 10: 12 Sow for yourselves righteousness reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the LORD, until he comes and showers righteousness on you......

the only way to break up the ground is for me to pray You to break me....that's a scary prayer that is just always answered...granted, NEVER like I suspect or think it will be answered, but answered nonetheless....
so Father God I am tired of living my life for and about ME.......there are people without HOPE and YOU are the only HOPE worth having...guide me to living in it for YOUR GLORY.....a seeking heart YOU NEVER DENY.....

Hosea 11: 10 They will follow the LORD; he will roar like a lion. When he roars, his children will come trembling from the west. 11 They will come trembling like birds from Egypt, like doves from Assyria. I will settle them in their homes," declares the LORD......

trembling...do I tremble before you....with Christ I am covered....that's the only way I could maybe not tremble...is NOT trembling a lack of respect?? I will follow....and not be scared and yet following in AWE....probably trembling with AWE and expectation...I am YOUR child.....so gratefully YOUR child.....

The whole of Psalm 73, the visuals...the power in the words.....I LOVE YOUR WORD......

1A psalm of Asaph. Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart.
2 But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;I had nearly lost my foothold.
3 For I envied the arrogant, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
4 They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong. [a]
5 They are free from the burdens common to man; they are not plagued by human ills.
6 Therefore pride is their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence.
7 From their callous hearts comes iniquity [b] ; the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.
8 They scoff, and speak with malice, in their arrogance they threaten oppression.
9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven, and their tongues take possession of the earth.
10 Therefore their people turn to them and drink up waters in abundance. [c]
11 They say, "How can God know? Does the Most High have knowledge?"
12 This is what the wicked are like— always carefree, they increase in wealth.
13 Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.
14 All day long I have been plagued; I have been punished every morning.
15 If I had said, "I will speak thus," I would have betrayed your children.
16 When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me
17 till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny.
18 Surely you place them on slippery ground; you cast them down to ruin.
19 How suddenly are they destroyed, completely swept away by terrors!
20 As a dream when one awakes, so when you arise, O Lord,

you will despise them as fantasies.
21 When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,22 I was senseless and ignorant;

I was a brute beast before you.
23 Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
27 Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
28 But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.

A whole psalm just speaking to a heart that ...listens and today, since YOUR Holy Spirit my heart seeks YOU....what a God you know...

You pursue us with such LOVE and we turn over and over again AWAY from You and then finally one day we accept what YOU'VE been offering....it's beyond comprehension and yet worth spending the rest of my life trying to comprehend.....You are amazing God...... 26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever....just LIVE KNOWING THIS.....

i repent, i repent of trading truth for false unity, i repent, i repent of confusing peace and idolatry by caring more of what they think than what i know of what we need.....
Hebrews 4: 12 For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account....

IT IS...the word of God is living and active.....combine it with lyrics of songs that convict and YOU have verifiable TRUTH that God is guiding us.....waiting for us to turn to him like in days of old a SEEKING HEART is never denied and yet there is so much in the world today getting in the way of seeking Him.....seeking YOU..... i repent, i repent of living like i deserve anything....if it weren't so sadly true it would be laughable...to sit here KNOWING what I know the awesomeness of God and still living the way I live.....focused so intently on ME.....NOT laughable....SINFUL..... 14Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens,[e] Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need....Thank YOU Father....THANK YOU

Writers don't write about themselves because they think anyone actually cares that much. They are banking on the fact that in the process of wrestling something out of their own darkness, they can connect with that which is common to someone else. Doesn't have to be everybody, either. Just somebody......John Fischer
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