Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Jeremiah 5-6; John 12

Let's see if I can sort all this out.....yesterday it was 'believe and see the glory of God'...it was Mary and Martha and Lazarus...it was understanding that Mary was the same Mary that washed Jesus' feet with her hair and that that is the same Mary that Martha complained about to Jesus and Jesus said paraphrasing...'she's got it figured out'...it was talking to Dan about the vineyard workers this morning...it was me AGAIN struggling w/what will people think.....and I heard......
'it's between you and ME'......
so combine that with focus on You and believe... it just makes sense...well it does to me anyway.....my getting lost yet again...my getting on the sick carousel yet again......
'broken hearted and repentant'.....

do I not see how this breaks Your heart??..... You are not amused by my stubbornness...You are not smiling benevolently at my repeatedly ignoring what You are....what I am hearing......You are broken hearted...BROKEN HEARTED.... that it's never enough for me to just hear You, that YOU are never enough for me......like I was telling Dan this morning....the vineyard workers...the best ones may have been hired first but they all got hired and that last bunch you can just hear the owner saying...."well....get in there and get busy"......YOU keep telling me to 'get busy' and I'm like...ok BUT....the BUT breaks Your heart......and I keep right on saying it......
believe and see the Glory of God......and I will HAVE to get out of YOUR way to see it and I don't know how or why....see that's a BUT......believe and see the GLORY OF GOD.....

So....I just shared my blogging site with a gal and I don't know if I should have... I don't know freaking anything anymore...other than I am sorry that I continue to break Your heart....that I see and hear what YOU want and continue to do what I want......
Jeremiah 5:21 Hear this, you foolish and senseless people,
who have eyes but do not see, who have ears but do not hear:
22 Should you not fear me?" declares the LORD. "Should you not tremble in my presence? I made the sand a boundary for the sea, an everlasting barrier it cannot cross. The waves may roll, but they cannot prevail; they may roar, but they cannot cross it.
23 But these people have stubborn and rebellious hearts;
they have turned aside and gone away.

Stubborn and rebellious hearts....yup that's me......can I have a new one please?? Maybe that is exactly what is happening.....
John 12:40"He has blinded their eyes and deadened their hearts, so they can neither see with their eyes, nor understand with their hearts,
nor turn—and I would heal them."
41Isaiah said this because he saw Jesus' glory and spoke about him.

broken hearted and repentant.....more painful yes but.....I have to learn to live broken hearted and repentant.....turning and being healed...what an Amazing God...over and over.....
John 12: 43for they loved praise from men more than praise from God......
approval and affirmation.....it's between you and I......THAT I have to remember.....What a friend we have in Jesus.....see it just all runs together for me......

John 12: 44Then Jesus cried out, "When a man believes in me, he does not believe in me only, but in the one who sent me. 45When he looks at me, he sees the one who sent me. 46I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.
47"As for the person who hears my words but does not keep them, I do not judge him. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save it. 48There is a judge for the one who rejects me and does not accept my words; that very word which I spoke will condemn him at the last day. 49For I did not speak of my own accord, but the Father who sent me commanded me what to say and how to say it. 50I know that his command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say."
Thank you, YOU are amazing God.....

2 comments:

lex said...

God continues to work on my heart through your words. especially when you say things like," He is not amused with my stubbornness . . ." that whole train of thought left me shocked when i stop long enough to see that is definatley the picture i have painted of our great and mighty God. that He is somehow smiling benevolently at my ignorance is such a selfish and comfort inspired thought. thank you for this visual.

Melissa said...

It is as if you have taken a walk in my shoes, this post spoke volumes to me!