Learning to dance, to follow. That's what it feels like and when I wondered how to start this morning that's the visual I kept coming back to. Do you know that I used to LOVE the June Taylor Dancers on the Jackie Gleason Show, the numbers they would do , the finish, always something stunningly visual.
I would dance for days afterwards or at least immediately following the program and when I say dance well I'd never had a lesson.. so you can visualize juvenile leaping and toe pointing and arm flailing, the clarity of THAT vision in retrospect is funny. I was full of myself and while I had never had a dance lesson in my life, fancied myself a choreographer just like JUNE TAYLOR. I would create routines in my head out of thin air with steps and leaps I would never be able to show or teach someone because I couldn't do them, I could just SEE THEM.
I think I am that way in alot of my life, visions of grandeur and no way or ability to make them happen. The daydreams of someone discontent I suppose and yet now at this stage of my life there is contentment and I guess NOW frustration because while the dreams were unreachable they did soothe me, thus why we daydream.
Now I get so frustrated with visions and ideas and no way to implement them. Not big choreographed numbers, no, now I daydream about being able to share Christ with people in such a way as to bring them into this journey with me so maybe IT IS YOU CHOREOGRAPHING everything and I am learning to dance finally or at least be in a BIG NUMBER.
Writing is another thing that frustrates me, wanting to write and be understood.....that's it I think I just want to write in such a way as to be understood.
Luke 23: 26 As they led him away, they seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus. 27A large number of people followed him, including women who mourned and wailed for him. 28Jesus turned and said to them, "Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; weep for yourselves and for your children. 29For the time will come when you will say, 'Blessed are the barren women, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!' 30Then " 'they will say to the mountains, "Fall on us!" and to the hills, "Cover us!" '[d] 31For if men do these things when the tree is green, what will happen when it is dry?"
Why does this scene grab me so much this morning?
These people only days before had welcomed Jesus w/palm fronds before him, they had sought him out for answers and miracles and then they just turn on Him?? His own people......the religious leaders inciting the people to turn on Jesus.. they do and then they're sorry and Jesus KNOWS all the time. He knows our hearts, their hearts......He patiently waits for us to be completely and totally dependent on Him....patient because the alternative HE knows is so much worse. Life without Him, without God...He wants us to have all the time we need to learn how to live for Him because those without will suffer ........will suffer without HOPE...so He gives us all the time we need, He waits for us to come to Him dependent and broken....He waits for us to come to Him willing to follow to let Him lead....in the dance of life, the big choreographed numbers to be one of HIS dancers willing to take the steps He lays out, willing to FOLLOW......He KNEW....HE KNOWS.....I want to follow Jesus, I really do.....