Woke up this morning singing Oh Praise Him so I guess I'm going to keep going.....What a miracle you know...that I can keep going so into myself and yet YOU keep taking me back...What a flippin miracle!!
Tonite is the 10 Anniversary of my church's...well it's our Birthday!! Shoal Creek is a great place and for all my doubts and selfishness there has been nothing but Grace extended to me as I journey in and through all of it. It is a place about God, about Christ about lost people ( I was lost) and learning to care deeply for lost people, to NOT judge them or tell them they are lost but to journey with them to being Found..that's what happened to me. Noone said I was lost, they just kept telling me about God, about Christ and when I finally admitted that I didn't understand half of what they were saying my heart became a seeking heart??? Is that it??
See I don't always know how to tell what happened, is happening to me. I get caught up IN the telling and forget about Listening......I have this new passion for Christ that I'm not sure what to do with....God help me tell my story....why do I want to tell my story? .....see how quickly I can get lost and about ME....and yet even in the lostness I feel this incredible pull to keep going....to go deeper...to NOT be afraid....to quiet...to listen....to follow.....I feel this incredible LOVE and desire to learn how to LOVE.....I feel this incredible moment is inside me but my trying to release it screws it up and IF I wait then HE will release it when its time.....
I experience Divine Moments all the time but it is only in retrospect that I appreciate them.....It's only in following that I lead......It's only in listening that I hear.....see none of it makes sense.... but THAT is the crap that I get lost in....in wanting...in making everything about ME....but again it is only in retrospect that I see it...?....or more and more I am allowing You to show it to me and I just don't want to change??
See THAT'S why I want to Praise Him because in spite of all this I DO Feel incredible love and purpose....what an amazingly awesome God...... Thank You Shoal Creek for journeying....showing me the path.....guiding me to spending time in the Word.....gracefully walking with me to following Him to falling in love with Jesus Christ and following Him.....
Reading in Job and KNOWING that God IS in charge of everything, knowing that You give and take away.
Reading in Mark 16: 15 He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.
Dangerous words to a Barbarian.....and I want to live Barbarically for Christ. But Father God I need.......I need to follow and quit worrying about anything but THAT.....learning how to follow You.