Friday, January 06, 2006

Genesis

I don't think I'm doing it wrong......I think maybe the feeling of loneliness is 'right'.....How can we live in the world and not be of it without LONELINESS???? But loneliness doesn't mean you have to walk around unhappy and yet......Luke 6: 21..... Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.
This phrase keeps running through my mind......happiness is learning to live in the world and yet not of it......We as followers of Christ have to 'figure it out', living SAD doesn't draw people to the journey....Living in false happiness is a lie......so what do we do with the sadness?? So we do, we have to figure out how to live in the world and not of it....how to not Luke 6:37 JUDGE.....how to Luke 6: 35 LOVE OUR ENEMIES.....
We have to ....Luke 6: 46 "Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?'.....we do have to figure it out.....and it takes a depth of thought that comes from a foundational belief.....a risky belief.....a journey.
I read bloggers who have it figured out and I'm just 'jealous' ...another thing I am not supposed to be, but a character trait that runs deep in me......He tells me to not be jealous...but I am.....but I don't give up either....Luke 1:37 37For nothing is impossible with God." So maybe someday I will have it figured out, will not BE jealous.....or maybe that's what this life is abou... 'figuring it out' and in the struggles and wrestling with it I come closer to Him....????
I don't know.....I know I hate the loneliness....but I would hate worse to going back, to denying that I am and using people to fill THAT loneliness up.....You know...nowhere I can find, do You promise me happiness or ease now....promise me what I want...but IF I trust YOU ....You do provide what I NEED and if the point of the journey is to WANT what God wants more than anything......maybe it will just flippin always be a struggle.
You know I think I get closer to the 'truth' when I am lonely, than when I'm not????

4 comments:

Tickneen said...

Loneliness is tough. I think we do draw closer to Him when we are lonely. I know when I was single, I prayed a lot for someone to come into my life so that I could share my thoughts and feelings with. I get the feeling that God is constantly challenging us.

Bruce said...

Maybe what you are writing about is what I experienced over the Christmas holidays. So, where are YOU going with this. :-)

B~

daisymarie said...

I used to really struggle with not having all the answers and seeming like I had it all figured out. I was a counselor and I thought I really understood people. In my journey in brokenness and loss, I have learned that I don't even know what I don't know. And I'm really ok with that. I worked by myself today and there's a time that would just have driven me nuts. Today I sat with my little (aka cheepie) CD player and sang my little heart out and when it was all over I realized I had a bunch of fun with me today...and that felt good. What a journey this is!

Danielle said...

Remember Paul and what he accomplished while in prison? We are all in our own prisons and the good news is that we won't be here forever. These are the times God binds himself to us and in our suffering we develop a deeper understanding of how much we need Him. We all have our unique prisons but one day we'll be free of the chains of loneliness that bind us.