I don't think I'm doing it wrong......I think maybe the feeling of loneliness is 'right'.....How can we live in the world and not be of it without LONELINESS???? But loneliness doesn't mean you have to walk around unhappy and yet......Luke 6: 21..... Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.
This phrase keeps running through my mind......happiness is learning to live in the world and yet not of it......We as followers of Christ have to 'figure it out', living SAD doesn't draw people to the journey....Living in false happiness is a lie......so what do we do with the sadness?? So we do, we have to figure out how to live in the world and not of it....how to not Luke 6:37 JUDGE.....how to Luke 6: 35 LOVE OUR ENEMIES.....
We have to ....Luke 6: 46 "Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?'.....we do have to figure it out.....and it takes a depth of thought that comes from a foundational belief.....a risky belief.....a journey.
I read bloggers who have it figured out and I'm just 'jealous' ...another thing I am not supposed to be, but a character trait that runs deep in me......He tells me to not be jealous...but I am.....but I don't give up either....Luke 1:37 37For nothing is impossible with God." So maybe someday I will have it figured out, will not BE jealous.....or maybe that's what this life is abou... 'figuring it out' and in the struggles and wrestling with it I come closer to Him....????
I don't know.....I know I hate the loneliness....but I would hate worse to going back, to denying that I am and using people to fill THAT loneliness up.....You know...nowhere I can find, do You promise me happiness or ease now....promise me what I want...but IF I trust YOU ....You do provide what I NEED and if the point of the journey is to WANT what God wants more than anything......maybe it will just flippin always be a struggle.
You know I think I get closer to the 'truth' when I am lonely, than when I'm not????