Monday, February 06, 2006

The whole FULL SURRENDER still has me thinking and pondering and now throw in reading about GRACE.... grace is undeserved....I 'think' I may have thought I deserved it....???

I think I thought if I was 'GOOD', if I would BE 'GOOD'...(not even sure looking at the word what I think or thought about GOOD but that's what I was thinking and can still think) then I was loved, I was earning LOVE.... I am not saying anyone told me that but somehow I came to that conclusion and based all my behaviors, decisions on that premise...being GOOD. And growing up Catholic I felt good or at least that I was always trying to be good and if I wasn't then I could always confess and start over.( I am NOT blaming the catholic church this was all my stubbornness .)
Anyway....confession was NOT repentance for was just a license to keep on trying , which was earning??.... and it occurs to me: that maybe I don't fully grasp that I can't earn God's love(??) and if I could learn....then I really will learn.... how precious His love really is....


Sarah said...

I am a "baby Christian" and I struggle with the same thing. I keep bringing myself to Matthew 7:21-23
21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

It is a scary reality....about being "good"

Paula said...

The best definition I've heard for Grace is God's unmerited favor. It's amazing to know that when God forgave us of our sins, He forgave our past, present, and future sins. Amazing grace indeed! Sometimes I still struggle with thinking I'm being good enough, but what is grace if you can earn it?


Melissa said...

It's not about who we are, it's about who HE is!!!

I LOVE your talks on GRACE!

Sarah said...

My brother-in-law gave me this to explain grace
G = God's
R = riches
A = at
C = Christ's
E = expense

Thank you for your kind words and prayers.