Thursday, April 13, 2006

1 Samuel 14; 1 Chronicles 4; 2 Corinthians 13

This morning the word DIFFERENT....not right or wrong attached to it.....just DIFFERENT is percolating around in here...
Different has always NEEDED to my mind an explanation , a quantification , a qualification...... a justification....and who made that explanation?? who did the quantifying the qualifiying??....the justifying??.....ME....and then this morning ...... it's just DIFFERENT....and that 'feels' good, not about me.......I am such a baby aren't I......I heard....I 'care' too much and tried to tell myself...maybe they 'care' too little and You...You call us to care as YOU lead....and in YOU I can do that....without comparison or justification..????
Just DIFFERENT.......feels good.......

Saul....what a poor character...had everything given to him and didn't acknowlege a bit where it came from, until it suited him. He was a man of stature who was made King not by his anything....but by God and he never really embraced following God.
His son Jonathon on the other hand did, follow God that is...or believed more than his father.....He believed so much in what God could do, would do, that THAT was where he followed......
SO much in this chapter about leadership?? About INFLUENCE.....I 'think' I would rather be used by God to influence than be 'trusted' to lead anyone.....now that doesn't mean I disobey my leaders.....it means my faith is IN GOD and not them.......my faith is in God in them......you can't INFLUENCE unless someone trusts God in you, at least in the right way....??.....So much to process and the lines between Chasing Daylight and hearing You are fuzzy and I want to HEAR YOU......

Leadership means 'responsibility'....and I don't want to shirk that but I also know that the title means something to me more than the responsibility???? Hmmm.....how can I be responsible for other people when all I think about is me...now there is some ugly truth. And yet....BUT.....what if......it's all coming back again and I don't know what to do to LEAN forward into what YOU want until I ..........
just wait and follow YOU...not like Saul under the pomegranate tree with others basking in the company ......the power......but like Jonathon...KNOWING what God wants.....Knowing that He wants more than anything for me to love Him and others and when THAT happens...well then, there will be no doubt what He wants me to do.....no doubt, because He will be the one doing it, guiding it, securing the victory or the outcome...yeah the outcome because what looks like failure here may not actually be failure as long as I don't run away from it?????
2 Corinthians 13 : 5 Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Don't drift along taking everything for granted. Give yourselves regular checkups. You need firsthand evidence, not mere hearsay, that Jesus Christ is in you. Test it out. If you fail the test, do something about it. 6 I hope the test won't show that we have failed. 7 But if it comes to that, we'd rather the test showed our failure than yours. 8 We're rooting for the truth to win out in you. 9 We couldn't possibly do otherwise.
We don't just put up with our limitations; we celebrate them, and then go on to celebrate every strength, every triumph of the truth in you. We pray hard that it will all come together in your lives.

He doesn't say 'his' life....he says....'your lives'.......Paul was about Christ and in being about Christ you can't be about yourself......??? Test yourself.....solid in THE faith....if you fail the test DO SOMETHING about it.....hmmm.....not sure where it's all taking me but better to begin looking at this crap than to just keep carrying it around.......

This world .......he..... would love us/me to be bound up in what people think and the only thing that is supposed to bind us/me is LOVE.........

4 comments:

Debbie said...

:)nice

Sarah said...

Thank you!

Jada's Gigi said...

Wow! Firsthand evidence. Now that's what I miss when I can feel my heart growing cooler. Its not always noticable to anyone else, but it is to me if I stop and look. Firsthand evidence is something that must be fresh. I want daily, fresh, living evidence of Him in me. Can't live long on old manna. DO SOMETHING about it...now that's the key...turn...turning is so easy...so easy we think it can't possibly be enough...but it is...turn, turn, turn...to Him.
Love this post!
BTW Happy Birthday....lol

Tickneen said...

Ah, test my faith! What a concept. I want to test it.