Wednesday, April 19, 2006


I pray/beg to have a heart that beats for You and when You orchestrate THAT I complain....
I pray/plead with You to change me and when YOU attempt to do so I fight it......
I pray to become a servant and miss the opps. You present for me to serve.....

Dang...........Whoever says You don't answer prayers........!

Too many times I miss
Too many times I fight
Too many times I forget

You continue to DRENCH me with Your Grace

A friend says Do IT and I hesitate.....
A friend shows me her heart and I protect mine.....
I know how badly I want to DIVE in and I stand shaking on the platform rather than Free Fall deeper into You.....

What will it look like?
How will I know?
When will I get another chance?

Too many questions when the answer is always the same.....Less of me and MORE of You ......... and THAT cannot be Me.........
I've walked around hurt (me) and hurting (others) for too long.....
Broken is better, hurts , of course....but broken doesn't need to hurt anyone else.....

today I lay my heart, my desires down....and walk away......SLOWLY walk away......

Sounds more dramatic than it probably is but perhaps......that's what it is?? A dramatic pause....believing in something you can't see...trusting something.......something that BEGS to be trusted.....and yet not seen.

There was a comment on a blog that there can't be a risen Christ because...well..." just look around.".........of course the first place to look is inside......but IF they don't see Christ in us....

My prayer this morning is to take this and "be about it" ...... not try to figure it out.....to trust the MYSTERY......

Matthew 21:44......He who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom it falls will be crushed."

6 comments:

Bar Bar A said...

Your desire for God and love for Him and Only Him inspires me and encourages me so much. Thanks, B!

B

Jada's Gigi said...

Broken is definitley better....
I was looking for that verse...thanks :)

Hikingalong said...

I think we all struggle with wanting to be what Christ wants us to be. Why is it so hard to just let go and really trust him? We always try to do things in our own strength instead of letting him take all of our wants, needs and desires. More often than not, we lay something at his feet only to take it back again later. Thank you for sharing this with us. I know I've dealt with the same things in my life. The older I get, the more I want to allow myself to just be that pliable lump of clay and see what He molds me into. God bless you my friend!

MaryAnn M said...

broken...so i can leak Him out...

broken, so i know it is nothing in me that is doing any of this.

i am embracing my brokenness lately...and trying to not make it a pity-party...but showing joy, His Joy.

Debbie said...

You have a fgreat way of writing down/expressing what so many of us have on our minds

Karen said...

Awesome.
Where do you get these great pictures??