Tuesday, May 09, 2006


So................................................................................ If....I'm forgiving 'this person' (_______insert your own name or situation)....how come I want to stay far away from them?
And yet everything in me is screaming "STOP that."..so I haven't forgiven??
What next??
The rubbing against them is painful...as painful to them as it is to me.......pain moves us?? Rubbing against different personalities creates friction and friction......moves us....??

This 'person'....they are like sand paper to me and I to them....what does sand paper do? It rubs off the rough edges.........
I guess it depends on who wields the sand paper? If it's me attempting to change them then it's wrong ....BUT if it's truly God orchestrating our interactions then HE does what He does right??? The photo....sanding the bottom so it stands level.......submit...surrender.....yeild.......hmmmmm???

Speaking of being made smoother.....of being changed......of being shaped to His purpose....
my husband is THE BEST. I don't think I appreciate him the way I should and have been asking God to make me a less contentious spouse, to guide me in finding ways to serve him, to love him. He leads a men's small group, they are deemed a Growth Group as it is men seeking to go deeper on the journey, men who believe in Christ if not fully following Him and yet that is their desire....At least that is the criteria we operate under in leading same sex Growth Groups, freer to challenge each other.
They are reading a book by John Fischer called....Twelve Steps of the Recovering Pharisee., well that is what they are supposed to be reading and as with any group, sometimes you just show up and hope and pray to be able to participate in the discussion whether or not you have read the chapter or not.
I don't know how to start, story telling here is not my forte' at all...in telling a story I ramble. Perhaps it will be good to write it down, hone it down......
He had his group last nite and in talking about..........in the course of the conversation Dan's passion arose. The question was asked, what do you intend to do in your journey to deepen it, to follow Christ more fully/obediently.... so to speak. A definite question for people who are seeking to become fully devoted, not just maintain the status quo.....Not an easily answered question and there are all sorts of schools of thought as to whether there is anything we can DO to become a better person. ..The stock answers of being kinder to people IS a step but let's face it if you haven't seen yourself as NOT NICE you may be unable to see yourself as needing any work in that area...... And in the course of the conversation Dan shared that reading the Bible has been THE BIGGEST source of change in his life, in our marriage, in our family. He shared that that very morning he had read in Matthew 25: 37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
And in reading that he was convicted about his thoughts, his treatment of the homeless who are around his work...convicted in not knowing what he should do....but this feeling of what he has been feeling and NOT doing was wrong.....that he was judging them.....Well as he talked to the men in his group they attempted to SAVE HIM...telling him... who knows what they have done, what they would do with the money IF you gave them any, that everyone is uncomfortable around the homeless......
Dan's reply was....'so you guys, the world (totally churchy term but what else can you call it) are trying to tell me that what I heard from God in reading the bible this morning was wrong??'...they hadn't thought of it that way and were pretty quiet in the midst of Dan's humble passion....
The thing is Dan wasn't preaching, wasn't calling them down, but he was objecting to their..... he was just saying what reading the bible has done, is doing in him and here was proof....that the world is constantly louder and trying to either add or detract from what we can hear from Him....and how important it become for us to must MAKE time for Him...in the quiet of our days, somehow, someway...MAKE TIME for Him.....

We have a GREAT church, we have in the course of our journey read some really great Authors and participated in some really great studies......BUT the life change comes from pondering, being in ......spending time in and with the God of the universe by reading His word...plain and simple.........the softness of heart comes from reading the Bible with a seeking heart......I don't know how else to say it and I know that if you don't say it right it comes across as legalism..... it's NOT....it's like any relationship...it grows when you take the time to get to know the other person and we have no other way to get to know God except for the Bible.....a seeking heart HE never denies.....

5 comments:

Sarah said...

I love the fact that it is clay... and has been molded into just what it was intended for... now the fine tuning....

Bar Bar A said...

WOW! Great illustration of this, very insightful and thought provoking. Who is my sandpaper? Who am I sandpaper to? Am I resisting what God may be trying to do? THANK YOU BECKY!!!!!

Danielle said...

I gotta share:

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Romans 12:16-17 (NIV)

If it is possible...live at peace...doesn't necessarily mean be best buddies with someone you're struggling with.

Your husband sounds like a cupcake! REAL MEN LOVE JESUS!!!

Gina said...

I love the rambling. It reminds me to focus on the journey, not the destination. And to always redirect my shifting eyes back to Him. Thank you.

Jada's Gigi said...

Sandpaper...yes, it is smoothing off the rough edges...you get a lot of that in community life such as Bonhoffer lived in...waaay more than in our isolated American Christianity. :) I've lived in community so I know of what I speak. :)
I do have a differing opinion on the Bible being the only way to get to know God...I have to disagree with that...there was no written scripture at all during the first centuries of Christianity other than a random letter or two floating around to various churches from Paul or one of the other apostles. those people lived soley off their personal revelation of and relationship with Christ ...a living being inside of them...and a realtionship with each other as brothers an ssisters. We have that same Lord living in us and He is capable of communicating Himself, speaking, teaching, guiding everything...from inside. We also desperatley need the voices of our brothers and sisters to keep us honest.:) Actually I think He much prefers that type of relationship to the "reading about HIm and trying to figure HIm out from that" kind. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful we have scripture to confirm HIs voice but I just don't think it is the only way. (don't hate me...:))