Friday, August 18, 2006

A post written in the moment and I know it will pass....but sometimes the moments feel very heavy....

Today I am tired
Today I am sad

Today I want to run screaming

I hear ‘go back to what you KNOW’

I know running away
I know quitting

Today I am tired
Today I am just flat out tired……of following……..????

And I get the phone call….the SIL of a friend has passed and in her passing was torment….a torment of dying in lostness, in hating and....... in never knowing or hearing about or listening to….someone tell her of a God of love who asks for us to ‘turn towards Him and listen” ….a torment I have seen….I don’t want to see again……

Does my passion for God, for Jesus....for the Bible …….does it …..does it.....

or more does it HURT others….I can’t stand it if it does…but I have to know…??…

but but that people die in torment….
lost and forever away from the God I know….
what do I do with all this Father…..
where do I put this pain……
how do I live……when all I want is to KNOW…
’go back to what you know’…….
I know a God of love and in His arms I can rest……

4 comments:

Jada's Gigi said...

How much pain He must feel knowing some will be lost forever...you are sharing in His suffering. Sometimes all we really need is someone to share it with, someone who knows how we feel...He is giving you a gift ...a gift of knowing and sharing...you are ministering to Him today. Hold Him and rest in comfort...yes,,,

Robert said...

To stop and realize that Jesus left perfect existence and came to earth even becoming a human and then took on the pain of the whole world as well as dying with all of our sins on Him so he could bring us back to relationship with Him..... boggles my mind and helps as you have expressed becky to just rest in Him because He is the only one who can handle it

Candy said...

And that is a good good thing to know. I love jada's gigi's comment. wow.

Becky said...

torment. It is difficult to know isn't it? I'll lend you a hand today like you did for me.

becky