Thursday, October 26, 2006

Job 17; Acts 24 – 26

‘EXPOSED’ myself this morning….laid out an opinion with no intent of trying to convince anyone just ‘gave’ my opinion…..Dang why is that so flippin hard?? I know it’s because I want that infernal affirmation, confirmation that it’s ok that THAT is what I am feeling ….so what if…what if ‘they’ think I am trying to be all .....?? Thus the feeling totally and completely exposed and vulnerable……scary and yet in the fear is this sense of freedom……weird I know.

So now to just focus totally and completely on You and trust that even if I have come across …. whatever….YOU never leave me and not be stubborn or hard hearted for the rest of the day to protect myself but trust You …….

Job sitting with his friends trying to ‘fix’ him…..trusted God, cried out to God ….
Paul, crazy Paul…’blinded by the light’ Paul…..passionate stubborn Paul had an experience with God that changed him…..

Acts 26: 24 At this point Festus interrupted Paul's defense. "You are out of your mind, Paul!" he shouted. "Your great learning is driving you insane."
25"I am not insane, most excellent Festus," Paul replied. "What I am saying is true and reasonable. 26The king is familiar with these things, and I can speak freely to him. I am convinced that none of this has escaped his notice, because it was not done in a corner. 27King Agrippa, do you believe the prophets? I know you do."
28Then Agrippa said to Paul, "Do you think that in such a short time you can persuade me to be a Christian?"
29Paul replied, "Short time or long—I pray God that not only you but all who are listening to me today may become what I am, except for these chains."

I remember before I knew about just focusing on You, trying to give away what I didn’t yet have…my Daddy asking me if I wasn’t maybe ‘insane’…..
I hope I am learning to love more than preach at people or to try and ‘give’ them something that only He can give…I don’t know and even though there seems to be more and more I don’t know…what I know sure keeps me on the journey….He is an amazing God…..


Bruce said...

He is an amazing God. Exposing ourselves to others is always so difficult, if not impossible in some cases. Being honest with others opens ourselves up in ways that are not only difficult for us to deal with, but oft times brings more pain along with it.

Well done in your your jounrey to find the real you.


Anonymous said...

When we speak the truth we will always find opposition, sometimes it gets personal. satan is so familiar with our weaknesses, after all he set them up. But so too is Christ, and in having up find the truth He leads us toward healing. peace on your journey.

Karen said...

Boy, this spoke to me. Thanks, Becky, for your transparency and insight.