Thursday, November 02, 2006

Job 23 & 24; Mark 11& 12


Yesterday feeling lonely…..having lunch with a Gal who shared her God moment…….didn’t feel lonely anymore……the hole in me for love is no larger than in anyone else it’s just I can get so focused on it that I lose EVERYTHING and I do mean everything…..then this morning an incredible discussion with a group of women….all diversely created and all of us seeking God…….the nakedness with which we talked…the openness just staggered me and I don’t know how to live in that vulnerability…..because of course YOUR love isn’t enough…..boy oh boy oh boy do I want to learn how…..to figure out…to surrender to that….but I won’t probably because of course I’m yadda yadda yadda….but you know what IF I don’t TRY…..TRAIN…..wrestle with….the how…then I will stay every bit as self-protective as I am right now…….and I don’t think that’s what I am supposed to do……so it’s gonna hurt and I’m gonna screw up BUT YOU NEVER LEAVE ME…..
And I want to live this in order to love…I want to live trusting YOU in order to love….I want to live this so others will be curious……
I heard How Great is Our God sung in Polish last nite amazing….I sang Blessed Be Your Name and reading Job and Mark……

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name
Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name
Every blessing you pour out, I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name
Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name
Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name
Every blessing you pour out,I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, LordStill I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say Lord,
Blessed be your name

Choose……I want to…..here in Your word….I just might…..because Your love is pretty staggering so why wouldn’t a life spent seeking You have both??
Why wouldn’t it……..life IS a roller coaster MORE than it is a Merry Go Round and seriously who wants to spend life on a Merry Go Round but this is spoken by someone who ‘may’ be on an uphill climb…..the chink chink chink of the chains is usually followed by a big stomach drop……and to get where we are headed do we really think there won’t be a desert…….

stop talking….vulnerability means I shouldn’t explain why unless asked…….living it instead of preaching it……

said much better here..........

3 comments:

Jada's Gigi said...

Loved the linked article...great analogy of childlikeness..the kind Christ was referring to I'm sure..that pure non self absorbed way of looking at the world.
The vulnerability issue has me thinking...it is not always good to be vulnerable with everyone...they have to be trusted to hold our hearts, our secrets with the hands of Christ...something like being "wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove..or not casting your pearls before swine..."

Anonymous said...

promise me you will never stop posting your thoughts.

they are part of the nutrition God feeds me each day.

(Love that Brennan M. quote)

Danielle said...

It is better than being on a Merry Go Round. Even with the ups and downs...a journey is at hand...we're all on it.