Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Numbers 21 - 23; Mark 6 & 7

I prayed to be blown up ......to live on the edge ......even a year ago .....I prayed prayers that are being answered….

And now, now I’m just frightened, too frightened to move…but oh the desire to move….to run into Your arms is just overwhelming…….in Your arms is peace and protection but also in THAT peace and protection is a desire to live in RISK .....crashing full out against the desire to just rest in Your arms…….

Laughing to myself that You answer prayers and wondering why I didn’t just pray for a MILLION dollars…..

Mark 6: 51 Then He got into the boat with them, and the wind stopped; and they were utterly astonished, 52 for they had not gained any insight from the incident of the loaves, but their heart was hardened.

I have gained insight and my heart is softer…..now to be obedient to that insight and trust that softness…..

Feeling pretty crazy, isolated and strange….
How much of that is my fault??

Why does community have to hurt so much….
Anything worth having, worth participating in is worth a certain amount of pain right??

So how do you begin to share where an unknown God is taking you, has taken you without coming across as strange?
Maybe it is just STRANGE…..
Maybe you just stay quiet.......


Jada's Gigi said...

Ah ha! now you know why it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of a living God!! LOL I can totally relate! :)

Robert said...

wow becky you say so much in so little!!! As you and barbara said, all of us are sharing the same pathway traveling in the same direction, seeking to unite ourselves to Him. Amazing how complicated that we make it and that life itself makes it, guess thats why its a journey and not a rest area!! Keep on as you are becky!!

holy chaos said...

Maybe it appears strange becaue HIs ways are not our ways... think about how many of the siants before us seemed strange...Noah? the prophets? so I think strange is a good thing... :)