How do I get the emotions out of me?
No, how can I get a handle on my emotions? That’s a more fair question. To not be upset that I have them but to not allow them to rule me, my reactions….not have them define me. Do they? Why do I think they do? Why am I so scared of being who I am anyplace but here with You….PRIDE…..yeah I imagine, still and always trying to manage what people think….makes me sad that THAT is so rife in me and that it always will be…..?
So figuring out that in my embarrassment I have in the past LIED and now I don’t know what to do when I get embarrassed….maybe it’s more figuring out why I am always so embarrassed??? Again the image management piece…..how to get comfortable with who I am?.....
So who am I??
***Child of God…..loved of and by Him, forgiven and showered daily with GRACE
***Wife…to an absolutely amazing awesome inspiring man of You. One who seeks You walks the walk and talks the talk of a God dependent follower of Christ.
***Mother/Mother in Law…to an absolutely amazing awesome tribe of imperfect forgiven seekers and followers of Christ…. ***Grandmother / Gigi …….
Everything IS dependent on someone else…hmmmm So as much as I yearn for freedom and independence I am made to be interdependent? But my freedom IS in Christ ……..This exercise isn’t accomplishing what I was looking for but perhaps it is what I needed to find….who am I becoming if this is who I am…who am I becoming???
2 Corinthians 5
1-5 For instance, we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven—God-made, not handmade—and we'll never have to relocate our "tents" again. Sometimes we can hardly wait to move—and so we cry out in frustration. Compared to what's coming, living conditions around here seem like a stopover in an unfurnished shack, and we're tired of it! We've been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what's ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we'll never settle for less.
6-8 That's why we live with such good cheer. You won't see us drooping our heads or dragging our feet! Cramped conditions here don't get us down. They only remind us of the spacious living conditions ahead. It's what we trust in but don't yet see that keeps us going. Do you suppose a few ruts in the road or rocks in the path are going to stop us? When the time comes, we'll be plenty ready to exchange exile for homecoming.
9-10 But neither exile nor homecoming is the main thing. Cheerfully pleasing God is the main thing, and that's what we aim to do, regardless of our conditions. Sooner or later we'll all have to face God, regardless of our conditions. We will appear before Christ and take what's coming to us as a result of our actions, either good or bad.
11-14 That keeps us vigilant, you can be sure. It's no light thing to know that we'll all one day stand in that place of Judgment. That's why we work urgently with everyone we meet to get them ready to face God. God alone knows how well we do this, but I hope you realize how much and deeply we care. We're not saying this to make ourselves look good to you. We just thought it would make you feel good, proud even, that we're on your side and not just nice to your face as so many people are. If I acted crazy, I did it for God; if I acted overly serious, I did it for you. Christ's love has moved me to such extremes. His love has the first and last word in everything we do.
14-15 Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own.
16-20 Because of this decision we don't evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don't look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We're Christ's representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God's work of making things right between them. We're speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he's already a friend with you. 21 How? you ask. In Christ. God put the wrong on him who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God.
So focusing on the wrong things again and again covered in and with Your grace…maybe more like the stone and He is sculpting me and you into who He desires us to be......just ‘be still and know’…..just ‘trust’….just simply and completely ‘be still’……
Hope Easter is a beautiful rembrance for you for all that He's done....