Wednesday, June 13, 2007

1 Kings 13 & 14; 2 Chronicles 12; Philippians 3

Emotionally charged and drained at the same time……
That’s where I’m at today……..I don’t think angry…the sadness and frustration seems to be more of what it is but anger I’m sure would give me a direction, a power…and right now the powerlessness is frightening and yet somewhat safer??
But the passion underneath it all, albeit frustrated is something that I HAVE to believe is born of Him….of the God I love if not in a way others can see... in a thought process that is different from anything I have ever experienced or allowed myself to experience…….
1 Kings 13, the ‘man of God’ knowing what God told him to do is swayed by another prophet ‘lying’ to him and God tells the lying prophet what he is going to do and ‘the man of God’ is …….he just goes with it…and is killed just as God said he would be. So IF he had ignored the other prophet, what would have happened. The relationship with God is THAT personal…..
You speak to each person and as we hear our obedience is contingent upon ….no our hearing is contingent on our obedience….or YOU are just a God that I can’t understand and the passion in me I simply need to remember.... My life is in Your hands, God. Use me to point someone towards you today ~ I promise to cooperate in any way I can. If you want me to say a word for you today, I’ll do that. If you want me to keep quiet but demonstrate love and servanthood, by Your Spirit’s power I will. I’m fully available to you today, so guide me by Your Spirit. Bill Hybels prayer from Walk Across the Room.
You are THAT personal…I am not nor ever will be ….in dependence on You and with a confidence born of Your will in my life I can hear……You…..and in that hearing discern…..can I discern, I mean the ‘man of God’ was duped why would I think I would be any different?? Duped by everything BUT God……in Christ IF I follow there and only there…
how the heck do I do that??
BE still a lot more than I talk….
Be obedient more than stubborn….BE ….BE that’s me... how can I be about You???
Phillipians3: 12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
15 All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 Only let us live up to what we have already attained.
17 Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. 18 For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. 19 Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. 20 But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21 who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.
So to overcome… in spite of…….I don’t know just press on…….

I have committed to hiking a 14er in Colorado in July…….maybe it’s like that, I have to train to do it and in the doing I will have to persevere through thin air and …..

I don’t know to reach a summit we have to push right?? Fear makes me want to not even try…..frustration makes me want to quit……after all I am a quitter……what does it look like to press on….??? Where are you pressing on in your life??
Struggling with definition of ambivalence I like bruce, thought one thing but this says....
One entry found for ambivalence.
Main Entry: am·biv·a·lence Pronunciation: am-'bi-v&-l&n(t)s Function: nounEtymology: International Scientific Vocabulary1 : simultaneous and contradictory attitudes or feelings (as attraction and repulsion) toward an object, person, or action2 a : continual fluctuation (as between one thing and its opposite) b : uncertainty as to which approach to follow - am·biv·a·lent /-l&nt/ adjective - am·biv·a·lent·ly adverb

1 comment:

holy chaos said...

what would it hurt to try training for the 14er hike?

maybe you CAN and WILL do it!

what am i pressing for?

a peaceful, Godly, home...


still believing...hoping...and praying