Can I just say I am sick of sharing the dream….and beginning to think it is just that a stupid dream. There is too much I don’t know….too much I can’t know, never having been in the situations, maybe it’s more sharing the dream with those who DO know and God does something with the chaos that creates in them, and THEY will create the place?
I don’t know but the sharing of it and the being so inadequate, creates something in me that I have always in the past run away from and yet the pull to share seems greatly of Him…..more just fooling myself or just a willingness to be used…..I DON’T KNOW……..So to just persevere and travel this road……Doesn’t He know that I like to be well thought of and adequate…..of course He does. So rant over….born of emotion…..of which I have too much…..NOT to be driven by it…?? Thing is, a dream of God doesn’t necessarily have to happen right away but it sure gives you something to lean into Him about rather than that more familiar me me me stuff, or is this just me me me camouflauged??…..I wonder how He answers prayers you know... Never like what we expect and yet exactly as we need…..
Zephaniah 3: 8 Therefore wait for me," declares the LORD, "for the day I will stand up to testify. I have decided to assemble the nations, to gather the kingdoms and to pour out my wrath on them— all my fierce anger. The whole world will be consumed by the fire of my jealous anger.
IF we who know Him and His love don’t love where are we? ‘jealous anger’….a whole book written to show us how we fall short and in the falling short and the turning back there is chance after chance….IF we who know Him and His love don’t love what can He do?? We are the hands and feet of Christ and IF we don’t LOVE and serve where we are gifted and talented…….what happens? IF YOU are calling me to love the battered and abused can I deny that call?? IF YOU are calling us to LOVE and we fail……how to wait for Him……..how to move towards His call on our lives……how to simply and completely surrender to His love and KNOW the difference??
The man born blind and healed…noone believed that he had been born blind, even when his own parents confirmed it. To have lived 40+ years blind and to see, .....that’s what if ‘feels’ like……now to just do what God says John 9: 38 Then the man said, "Lord, I believe," and he worshiped him.
Simple enough huh? To worship Him …..the rest of my life worshipping Him……too many I read about who KNEW Him and now claim they don’t…..Why?? Is it the wanting what we want even after we claim that He is enough? To be humble enough to want what YOU want more than anything……a lifetime journey with no end in sight…….in the journey finding that which sustains you……a dream?? Who knows and yet that seems like a piece of it. If I fight more against what people say or what I think they say than for where You are taking me…there is NO worship in that….a humbling to hear without fighting..??…….to hear and follow Your voice…….wherever that may lead…..see here’s where I struggle, without scripture can I hear Your voice?? The constant marinating, breaking down that takes place in that, where else would it, could it come from ?? How do you hear Him and KNOW that it is Him??
Zephaniah 3: 8 Therefore wait for me," declares the LORD, "for the day I will stand up to testify. I have decided to assemble the nations, to gather the kingdoms and to pour out my wrath on them— all my fierce anger. The whole world will be consumed by the fire of my jealous anger.
IF we who know Him and His love don’t love where are we? ‘jealous anger’….a whole book written to show us how we fall short and in the falling short and the turning back there is chance after chance….IF we who know Him and His love don’t love what can He do?? We are the hands and feet of Christ and IF we don’t LOVE and serve where we are gifted and talented…….what happens? IF YOU are calling me to love the battered and abused can I deny that call?? IF YOU are calling us to LOVE and we fail……how to wait for Him……..how to move towards His call on our lives……how to simply and completely surrender to His love and KNOW the difference??
The man born blind and healed…noone believed that he had been born blind, even when his own parents confirmed it. To have lived 40+ years blind and to see, .....that’s what if ‘feels’ like……now to just do what God says John 9: 38 Then the man said, "Lord, I believe," and he worshiped him.
Simple enough huh? To worship Him …..the rest of my life worshipping Him……too many I read about who KNEW Him and now claim they don’t…..Why?? Is it the wanting what we want even after we claim that He is enough? To be humble enough to want what YOU want more than anything……a lifetime journey with no end in sight…….in the journey finding that which sustains you……a dream?? Who knows and yet that seems like a piece of it. If I fight more against what people say or what I think they say than for where You are taking me…there is NO worship in that….a humbling to hear without fighting..??…….to hear and follow Your voice…….wherever that may lead…..see here’s where I struggle, without scripture can I hear Your voice?? The constant marinating, breaking down that takes place in that, where else would it, could it come from ?? How do you hear Him and KNOW that it is Him??
2 comments:
i can't recall if you've ever shared in detail the specifics of your dream.. but whether you do here or not, i think i can speak for you readers and friends when i say that we believe in you..
we'll support you with prayer and hopefully the right kind of encouragement. it's not a stupid dream.. and you're the perfect candidate.. ESPECIALLY if there's "too much you don't know."
that gives God the perfect person for the job, so that His wisdom and goodness can be revealed.
you can do this.
bjk,
Your dream is lovely. It is the outgrowth of the love between God and you. But what you speak of here is more important than the dream itself - worship. That you and I worship is everything. In themselves, our dreams are nothing. BUT through such dreams we worship. Without the pursuit of our dreams, what worship can we offer, truly?
We are spirit and soul and body. We must draw our whole selves into the unique worship that only we can give.
Is it hard? Nothing is harder.
Could someone else do it better? Maybe, but God gave the job to us. Remember David, too small for Saul's armor and mocked as an idealistic child by Goliath, but depending on God...
Is it too much? Is anything too much to offer the One who smooshed his God character into the confines of a dying body to demonstrate his Love?
At what price will we have SOMETHING to offer Him? It's crazy to think about, but foolish not to.
The Christ compels us to give way to the highest and best that we know. The value of it is not in the achievement of goals, but in the struggle - THIS is our worship.
Don't you dare even think about giving up your dream - it's bigger than you now. It doesn't belong to you. You belong to it.
"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service." (Romans 12:1)
"Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin." (James 4:17)
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