In praying yesterday there was just so much sadness. The kind where the only place you can go is to prayer. The kind where I want to run and DO something, any freakin thing to escape the pain. The kind where you walk around yearning for someone to ask ‘what’s up’ and you pray to be able to tell them. The kind that I think God maybe wants us to experience, because He sends us the counselor to help us and only then and there, being so sad and helpless do we listen.
I know in the past I would have denied, ignored, found a way around all the thoughts…. yesterday I just was in them praying. Not too much is different today other than in the conversations so far this AM I see how others deny, ignore, escape….
to be taught something so amazing and not model it, I think that’s our jobs…what now Father, what now??
Dan keeps bringing up this verse and now he has me spinning in it…Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.
Living sacrifices……that kind of sucks to think about. But definitely something to think about I guess, because I don’t think I even know what sacrifice is.
Nehemiah, modeled a dependence and an amazing amount of leadership with that dependence, that KNOWING that God was for them and what they were doing. Why don’t I, don’t we as followers of Christ model that dependence? Why am I always so scared of everything?
...because I think the outcome will be about me when it is only about Him….living sacrifice…..what the heck is that?
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4 comments:
transformation.
Just got to read this today. I like Jeff's answer, I'd like to hear more from him.
I hear what you are saying loud and clear. I have "fought" those verses for years because I interpreted them wrong. Now I just think that's is as "simple" (ha) as making moment by moment decisoins that are in line with Christ, the old WWJD theory. But I don't know.
I just know I care about you and your journey, even though full of painful moments, encourages me.
As important as it is to model dependance, it's just as important to model the willingess to "share in Christ's suffering". Not that I totally get what that is. But as you were willing to pray through the pain instead of avoiding... that is living sacrifice.
ps. Nehemiah is my favourite dude.
A difficulty in confiding in others: sometimes when one actually explains their difficulty -as if to be understood- the confidant passes it off as nothing. They frown smugly as if to say, 'People have had worse circumstances...' But the difficulty isn't the circumstance, it's to be the one in the circumstance. Christ's greatest struggle was not to face the agony of the cross, but to face the cross as himself ... loving his enemies and praying for those who crucified him.
A lot of that goes for the difficulty in considering one's life as a sacrifice in regard to the Romans command you mentioned. Another ally in finding that inner obedience is remembering one's infinite indebtedness toward God, which is not far from the love He has called us to.
I apologize for such a long comment, bjk. I need to learn to write like your post on the solitary tree.
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