Someone once told me ‘you can’t give away what you don’t have’….I want to give away a desire for Him….I need an obedience I guess to live IN this life of RISK and submission. And it feels risky to submit…..there is much I think I want in life and yet there is nothing I HAVE that I would trade for what I want…so today to live in the surrender that is looking out for the good of others…oh yeah I’m that self involved to need to be reminded to think even think of others, let alone look out for their good, to serve them... and it’s risky to think that THAT’S wrong. So today to live in the humbleness that THAT kind of dependence brings…or is it living in dependence that THAT humility brings??
Living as a fish out of water is bound to be painful…..but I wouldn’t trade this pain and discomfort for anything, because it’s here that I FEEL YOU the most. I am tired though Father and will need you today to guide me strongly in caring more, looking more to their good than to my own……tired when your call is to be alert and prayerful and You will do what YOU will do…and I guess the truth of it is tired or not YOU WILL.
Joshua 24: 14 "Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. 15 But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."
1 Corinthians 11: 17-19 Regarding this next item, I'm not at all pleased. I am getting the picture that when you meet together it brings out your worst side instead of your best! First, I get this report on your divisiveness, competing with and criticizing each other. I'm reluctant to believe it, but there it is. The best that can be said for it is that the testing process will bring truth into the open and confirm it.
Truth into the open and confirm it……to be tested and come out dependent on You is the best I can hope for….I want to WANT what You want MORE than anything, I pray to submit to that wanting…..I pray to become a woman after Your heart MORE than after atta boys and approval. I am tired remember and wanting what I want comes much more naturally…..praying to seek You and YOUR heart MORE than anything…..Your Grace, is better than life.