Monday, August 01, 2005

Isaiah 65-66; Psalm 62; John 3

"Focus on Jesus" and "Risk Everything"......I hear them and combine them with or know that they come from ..."live forgiven and loved so as to love and forgive"..... and I am excited........wanting as per usual to stand on the rooftops and proclaim Christ!!! Funny thing that isn't what I'm 'hearing' to do.... it is of course what I am wanting to do....seeing how unteachable and stubborn and arrogant I was.. I am....is yucky and yet strangely exciting....
I know that I've been here and I know I get lost .....so strangely excited and DRIVEN is how I am feeling this morning.....Driven to 'focus and risk'........but what and where???

Is. 65: 9 Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery?" says the LORD. "Do I close up the womb when I bring to delivery?" says your God....
labor.....a lonnnng process even longer getting to the actual labor part......YOU have me in labor?? I am in the process of recieving my new heart or my new heart has been guiding the process of labor and...and and what?? ....You are in charge...that has to be enough for me..stay away from the sick carousel and keep.......I don't know...
Labor a process of preparation...preparing everything for the birth....I am not yet prepared and what am I birthing anyway....the desire to RISK is being born???
But the point of the verse is YOU KNOW and YOU are IN CHARGE .......breathe.......and focus and be ready to risk everything.....and then the psalm....YOU are my fortress.....
Ps.62: 8 8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. .....Whether blogging or journaling or prayer...pouring my heart out to YOU is what saves me...every single time. And then the days like today , where all I want to do is shout it from the rooftops....these are the days I am humble and soft and dependent...the other days according to ERM* I am full of arrogance....WOW that just hurts to hear and yet I heard it this time....will I, as I am about to get on the sick carousel...hear the voice, YOU telling me to get off or tear up my ticket... and ... I don't know....but knowing that You listen and don't tire of listening to me gives me such relief......
John 3: 11 One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God, are strong, 12 and that you, O Lord, are loving. Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done....
and then I get scared...what have I done , what do I do.....too scared to DO anything but talk.....risk everything.....risk what.....?????????????....
breathe.....

14Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, 15that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.[e]
20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."[
h]
27To this John replied, "A man can receive only what is given him from heaven. 28You yourselves can testify that I said, 'I am not the Christ[
j] but am sent ahead of him.' 29The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. 30He must become greater; I must become less.
36Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God's wrath remains on him."

These verses.....lifted up....Christ...living in and for Christ that's all I am to do.....it's not me to do anything ANYTHING but point to and live for Christ myself....everything comes through God...not for me to fret or worry or plan.... just LIVE in forgiveness and LOVE and forgive and love...live in the light......YOU DO ALL OF IT....Focus...and breathe and risk....only when I am truly empty are YOU going to use me for anything.....humility is not something I can FAKE, emptying is not something I can check or do on my own...YOU DO IT...YOU DO IT ALL....and I must stay focused because there is so much at stake....that's all I need to do is stay FOCUSED and in that focus when YOU say MOVE just move and RISK whatever it is YOU guide me to risk.....it's not about ME after all...it is all about YOU.....
*ERM = Erwin Raphael McManus ...UPRISING

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