Lexi says I write ...like I pull the top off my head and just let you in.....I don't know how to write differently...I don't know how to write and make sense....I get frustrated and feel sorry for myself but then again maybe that's all this is for...a place for me to dump so I DON'T DUMP all over unsuspecting people!!
We had communion last nite and I couldn't partake of it , when Roy said 'don't come to the table if you have any fractured relationships'...I was undone. I have this one that is killing me (remember I'm a bit dramatic)......I guess I need to say 'I'm sorry' but I don't know if I can without a BUT......and I KNOW that until I am there it will be about ME and not about being sorry....so I am praying today.....I don't even know what I'm praying... but I am praying.......
2 Cor. 7: 10Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 11See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.
What is Godly sorrow? Is that what I am feeling today....knowing how wrong I am and yet not yet willing to just be sorry...so no...that's not what I'm feeling.....but it doesn't feel worldly either..because that I can just usually justify or ignore and this today I can't ignore as much as I am wanting to......and I hear Crabb in my head....'management to mystery'.....and I am trying to manage this problem??....how do I go into the mystery of this??