Finally shared with Dan a lot of my ‘feelings’, I KNOW that they in themselves are not worth anything but in the sharing they seem to dissipate, which is probably MORE of what I should get out of journaling. Will I always and forever BE about ME and the answer is a resounding YES but in the YES is YOU…..in the shame and embarrassment of the YES is YOU affirming that while THAT is who I am it is NOT where I will stay or..... is it more in the affirmation is without that recognition I wouldn’t seek YOU so I am the reason I NEED YOU….I don’t know but in the giving of this raggedy old self to YOU I find, I accept..receive the GRACE YOU so generously offer.
I have been wrestling with this quote….. It is the nature, and the advantage, of strong people that they can bring out the crucial questions and form a clear opinion about them. The weak always have to decide between alternatives that are not their own. -Dietrich Bonhoeffer
I am such a weak person, STUBBORN and willful but so weak. Looking for the approval of the ‘strong’…….FEELING very subject to the strong…….in my weakness YOU get stronger……not ME getting stronger but YOU, can I WANT that more than strength for myself??
2 Corinthians 3: 12-15 With that kind of hope to excite us, nothing holds us back. Unlike Moses, we have nothing to hide. Everything is out in the open with us. He wore a veil so the children of Israel wouldn't notice that the glory was fading away—and they didn't notice. They didn't notice it then and they don't notice it now, don't notice that there's nothing left behind that veil. Even today when the proclamations of that old, bankrupt government are read out, they can't see through it. Only Christ can get rid of the veil so they can see for themselves that there's nothing there.
16-18 Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are—face-to-face! They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone. And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We're free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.
Our lives becoming brighter and more beautiful…..I pray so. I am surrounded by those that need this freedom that I can’t figure out how to live in. I am surrounded by those who need to know a God of LOVE a God of consistent and unconditional love, a JUST God when everything around them seems unfair. A God who will love them in their mistakes and sin and yet call them to a life of fruitful abundance. The more I see my own inadequacies and stubbornness the more I KNOW the HOPE of Him who saves. To LIVE DRENCHED…THAT’S my prayer for us who know Him.